On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 11:03:22 -0500, "Michael A. Terrell"
wrote:


Larry Jaques wrote:

On Tue, 13 Nov 2012 03:28:34 -0500, "Michael A. Terrell"
wrote:


Larry Jaques wrote:

On Mon, 12 Nov 2012 19:56:48 -0500, "Michael A. Terrell"
wrote:


pyotr filipivich wrote:

I'm at the point where the policy is that if a new book is to come
in, an old book must go to make space.

I'm not doing to well at sticking with it.


You have to learn how to stack them on the ceiling. ;-)

Where can I find plans for those, Mikey? I've just been building
floor-to-ceiling bookcases for every inch of wallspace, and still I
have 6 boxes of books to go. I've already read 'em and they're not
the reference type. Y'know, not John Ringo, Richard Marcinko, John
Ross, or Thomas Sowell.


Is your security clearance high enough to get into area 52?

Tonopah or Salt Lake? I guess it doesn't matter. The answer's no.


Then they won't let you own antigrav technology.

Will too! I have access to the 3 technologies needed to make it
myself: cats, tape, and buttered toast.

Here's the secret formula:

--snip--
Asking the mystic Oracle...

Question: If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the
floor butter side down. If a cat is dropped from a window or some
other high and towering place, it will land on its feet.

But if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter side up to a cat's
back and toss them both out the window? Will the cat land on its feet?
Or will the butter splat on the ground?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be
able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that
the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline
aerodynamics demand that the cat can not smash its furry back.

If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to
resolve this paradox. Therefore, it simply does not fall.

That's right, you clever mortal, (well, as clever as a mortal can get)
you have discovered the secret of *ANTIGRAVITY*! A buttered cat will,
when released, quickly move to a height where forces of cat-twisting
and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be
modified by scraping off some of the butter, or removing some of the
cat's limbs (not recommended, as it produces an unfavourably high
demand for fresh cats), allowing descent.

Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this very
principle to drive their ships while within a planetary system. The
loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs, is, in fact, the purring
of several hundred tabbies.

The one obvious danger is, of course, that if the cats manage to eat
the bread off their backs they will instantly plummet. Of course the
cats *will* land on their feet, but this generally doesn't do them
much good at all, since shortly after they make their graceful landing
several tons of red-hot starship and ****ed off aliens come crashing
down on top of them.
--snip--

--
While we have the gift of life, it seems to me that only tragedy
is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our
creativity, or our glorious uniqueness.
-- Gilda Radner