from his father, not even old photos. I do not nor ever will
understand the greed that some people suffer.

Possibly, your husband was at fault for not maintaining a good
relationship with his mother. Without further details, we are left
guessing the rest of the story.

Stepmother.. but he never lived with her as he was already 18 when his
parents divorced. He stayed with his real mother married.

I was put into a similar situation with my brother. Some relatives
think I'm greedy and self serving when it comes to dealing with him.
But they don't know, (and I'm not inclined to explain to them) that
the only time my brother has ever had anything to do with me is when
he wanted something ~ usually money.

Let me put it another way...

Stepmom had already left him twice for some old flame in Florida and
he took her back because the other guy kicked her out as she has no
money. He took care of her completely. Cooked, cleaned, did all the
chores, etc. When he found out about his cancer, she didn't want to
deal with him. They got asked to leave the nursing home and had to do
hospice at home and she complained every day.

While I was present, she would run out for hours to do errands? Come
home with cases of ice cream bars, 1 pound cans of propane (for the
tiny heater she put next to him because she turned off the main heat)
and other assorted junk, when money was tight. She fed him her
medications (and other drugs) even tho he kept refusing. She fed him
canned soup waterd down, 1 per day and juice. She made no effort to
provide him real nutrition. I offered to prepare and give him real
food that he could keep down and give him nutrients and she became
angry with me and refused to allow me come back to help.

That shed any more light on the matter?

After a certain point, I refused to give in to his requests for help.

I don't blame you. I would too.

My husband didn't have a great relationship with his father after and
because of the divorce. I encouraged my husband to try but it's hard
to do when your calls are not returned.

Then one month his father started calling every week and stopping by
randomly saysing he was in the area. For a few short months their
relationship improved tremendously. I told my husband something was
wrong. People don't change without reason.

In september of that year Dad went to have his bladder checked and the
xray showed cancer spread to his lungs, stomach andother organs.
Further xrays showed it reasched his brain. Chemo was so hard it took
almost 70 punds off him in 4 months and he was under 200 to start.

We visted him every day at the hospital nursing home. We all did
because that's what family should do.

I'm sorry if I have babbled too long or explained too much but it
disturbes me greatly when people blatantly get away with chit by
controlling things they should never be in control of, ergo stepmom.
Sounds like you unfortunately understand first hand and I am sorry for
that. No one should have to deal with the greedy, petty selfish crap,
especially when it involves life and death. Life is too short.

`Casper