"Bruce" wrote in message
...
Heya all,
You know you *don't* live in California when...

2. You're so geographically ignorant that you think that
the entire state is made up of the Los Angeles area
and the San Francisco area.

Nope, that one won't work, more than a few residents of those
two cities would fail the test too.

3. You don't realize that California has the most geographical
variety of any state in the Union. It has the highest point
in the continental U.S., (Mt. Whitney) as well as the
lowest, (Death Valley). It has the largest trees. And on
a more subjective note, the most beautiful National parks
that include Yosemite. A huge number of lakes, rivers and
streams as well as on of the most beautiful coastlines in the
world. It also shares with Nv. one of the most beautiful
natural lakes in the world, Lake Tahoe.

Dang, I though it was Texans that claimed the biggest and bestest
of everything.

4. You're too ignorant to understand that the majority of the
people who "normal" people would call freaks came from
other states. Still, the majority of the people in California
are decent, hard working people who aren't like the people
that the shut-ins, (like Bob Schmall) have seen on T.V. or
in movies.

Right, California is the main gathering place for freaks.

5. You don't realize that California produces more food than
anywhere else in the U.S. The millions of acres of farmland
are just part of what makes California easily the most beautiful
state in the Union.

Maybe because California *isn't* more beautiful than, oh, Indiana,
Kentucky, Tennessee, Colorado, Wyoming, Washington state or
Alaska, just to name a few.

Which reminds me:
"You might be from California if:
You think it's better than most the rest of the country."