Lew Hodgett wrote:
Enjoy

Lew
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A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but
especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart
and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life,
I don't know what it is.'

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement,
a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls
and pressed a button.

The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a
small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the
small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number
and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous
24-year-old blond stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman,
said quietly to his son.....

'Go get your Mother'

A police office and his wife are vacationing in Las Vegas. At the hotel bar,
the cop says to his wife "Lets get out of here. The place is full of
hookers."

The wife says "How can you tell?"

The cop says "Years of experience. Here, I'll show you."

The cop gets up and approaches one of the ladies sitting alone at the bar.
"I've only got ten dollars," he says.

"Sorry," says the lady. "My usual is $200.00." The cop relates the
conversation to his wife, who shakes her head in disbelief.

Sometime later the couple are standing at the elevator, waiting to go up to
their room. The elevator door opens and out steps the very same hooker the
cop encountered earlier in the evening. The hooker looked at the couple and
said: "You get what you can pay for."