A doner is probably the perfect balanced meal, but enough for the whole
day, not just a snack. I believe dog biscuits pack more nutrients though

You must indeed be from a fortunate part of the planet. My
recollection of donors is a nice hot spicy meal ideally suited to
round off an almighty booze up.

Bread, meat, salad. You won't go short of much with a diet like that. Of
course if you're ****ed the salad only serves to leave a trail behind you.

Leave the remnants on the table, floor or whatever and you wake up to
view a pale grey corpse like material poking out from a pitta bread in
the throes of rigour mortis.

As a colleague once pointed out, "kebab shops just couldn't exist
without pubs", "who would dream of eating a kebab when sober".

On another note, how does all the fat remain in the "meat" after the
boil up?

I also wonder how someone can rotate a cwt or so of meat in front of a
grill plate for hours on end without giving everyone food poisining.
Very little of the "meat" can actually be cooked in this manner
surely? I would suspect the mean temperature of the lot would be only
10 or so degrees above the room.

Aka old man's leg

On a plus point I would imagine that the lemon juice is quite
healthy:-)

HN