All right..... here's a REAL canoe story...

A long, long time ago in upper Canada...

Three voyageurs - one French, one English, and and one Scots (my great,
great grandfather) were captured by the Iroquois near Niagara Falls. The
Chief, a terrifying, warpainted mountain of a man told them, "Tonight we
will kill you and use your skins to build a canoe. You may choose how you
die".

The Frenchman said, "I choose ze poison". The Chief handed him an extract of
deadly nightshade. The brave Frenchman shouted "Vive la France!", drank the
poison down and fell down dead.

The Englishman said, "A gentleman's weapon is a pistol". The Chief handed
him a pistol. The Englishmen shouted "God save the Queen!" and also fell
down dead.

The Scotsman said, "Gi'e me a Sgian Dubh." (knife) The Chief nodded gravely
and handed over a long, sharp dagger. The Scotsman took the sgian dubh and
started stabbing himself all over: the stomach, the sides, the chest,
everywhere. There was blood gushing out all over the ground and all over
everyone. It was horrible.

The Chief was appalled, and screamed, "What are you doing???"

The Scotsman looked at the chief and said, "So much for yer canoe, pal !"



Alternatively . . . . .



What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?

Fur traders.



You shouldn't have got me started!

George