DIYbanter - View Single Post - Semi-gloat

HeyBub[_3_]

zzzzzzzzzz wrote:
On Thu, 2 Jun 2011 23:11:38 +0000 (UTC),
(Larry W) wrote:

In article ,
Scott Lurndal wrote:
"HeyBub" writes:

I don't think the person from whom I bought it had all his marbles
lined up. In addition to selling a functional mower for cheap,
he's moving from Houston to Santa Barbara.

Now _that_ is a gloat. Moving from the armpit of the southeast
to one of the most beautiful places on earth.

scott

As someone who lives in an Atlantic coastal state, south of the
Mason-Dixon line, I have a real problem with characterizing Houston
as being in the "southeast." I don't argue with the "armpit" part,
though.

The proposition that three hundred miles West of the Mississippi is
the "East" is quite a mind-bender. Texas, in the East? Wow!

Well, Houston IS closer to Florida than it is to El Paso (and El Paso is
closer to San Diego than it is to Houston), so I suppose it depends on where
you stand.

All agree Houston is a cultural wasteland. Our big cultural event is the
annual livestock show and rodeo whose attendance, during its ten-day run,
exceeds the attendance of our three professional sports teams combined.

Contrary to popular belief, we didn't build the first air-conditioned sports
stadium to be ostentatious - the weather REQUIRED it. Oh, we're not as bad
in that regard as New Orleans, but, being at the same latitude as Cairo...
In fact today, June 2nd, the temperature reached 97 degrees.

There are some things Houston has to recommend it: The world's largest
medical center (18 hospitals, two medical schools, a dental school, etc.),
NASA, the 2nd largest port in the nation, low taxes, no zoning, 2nd highest
number of Fortune 500 companies (after NYC), 2nd highest number of consular
offices (after D.C.), 70% of the nation's refining capacity, and so on.

You'll note that many of these high-ranked attributes have to do with
money - or making money. Houston's a good place for that. But if you want
temperate weather, majestic redwoods, pristine beaches, Civil War
battlefields, or state-funded psychoanalysis for your dog, you won't find
them here.

I recall my first visit to Harvard Square. After lunch, my client asked what
I thought of the crowd.

I replied: "I'm willing to admit you have more PhD's per square foot, more
books in your libraries, and greater educational endowments than back home.
But on the two things that are important in this life, Texas has you beat!"

"What's that?" my client asked.

"Pretty girls and football teams" I responded.

"I'd believe that and I've never been to Texas," he said. "Did you notice
their socks don't match?"

"My friend, if these women were running loose in Texas, there'd be a bounty
on 'em," I concluded.