On Thu, 03 Mar 2011 08:26:03 -0500, "
wrote:

On 3/2/2011 3:21 PM, SteveB wrote:
wrote

One should let their family know of the SDB and what (appropriately) they
need to know of it's contents. It makes one analize how trustworthy their
family members are )

One of my wives was a paralegal for a family law lawyer. Very old large
estates in Louisiana. In the five years she worked for him, we got to see
many family scenarios play out. When they say, "It's not about the money,
it's about the principle," it's about the money. Heirs, relatives, family
members, loved ones, friends, all seem to change when enough zeros come into
play. Fistfights in the waiting room. Scheduling so antagonistic groups
wouldn't show up within 4 hours of each other.

BTW, we were also privy to the longest murder trial in Louisiana history,
which was very interesting.

Steve



I have seen family members raid their parents home before the funerals
to glom onto every little thing they wanted for themselves. I have also
seen my own family be entirely open, selfless and generous in taking
care of our parents' estates.

My mother asked each one of us what furniture and "stuff" we wanted of hers
and burned in our names and the date it was "given" on the back. There were
no arguments when she died.

When my MIL died, her step kids made asses of themselves. One stole a rocking
char that my wife had explicitly said she wanted. We told them to take
anything they wanted of their father's, and we sold the most of the rest. They
were ****ed that they got no money. There wasn't any (maybe $5K at the end).
They blew it all.

Another person, at his death, had a list
in his wallet of all the financial assistance given to his children
forever....I made a decision that day that if my kids ever needed money,
and I was able and willing to help them, there would be no loans. If I
could afford to lose it, a chance with a loan, I could afford to give it
and there would be no more to the issue to poison our relationship like
"owing" money. If a kid asked for money and I could not or would not
help, there would also be a fair and reasoned discussion...might be the
reason all of my kids can have differences, tension, and then discuss
them and get it settled and still love each other.

I have no problems with loans. If it's not paid back, fine. If it is, there
is that much more than can be put to other good uses. Dependence isn't a good
thing, IMO.