But there's a problem, I cant find any lead pipe. The plumbers all
want to sell me this cancer causing plastic pipe called PEX. I sure
as hell dont want that dangerous stuff in my house. Give me LEAD....
the pipe made for the REAL MAN !!!!!

We all know you are having "fun," but it's still an interesting question.

One reason that Pb was used so much for plumbing (in fact, the word itself
comes from the Latin for lead) is that it is so damn easy to makes pipes
from lead.

Toward the end of the "lead era" pipe could be made by high pressure
extrusion presses. The lead protection on some telephone cables was made
this way.

But lead pipe technology is over 2,000 years old!

The "quick and dirty" way is to just pour out liquid lead on a slab of
marble or whatever and create a sheet of lead. This was trimmed and then
rolled into a pipe shape by wrapping it around a properly sized piece of
wood. The ends could be joined by welding (i.e.: using a very hot tool to
barely melt the junction) or by soldering with a tin/lead alloy or by
pouring additional lead onto the joint.

Sheets can also be rolled out or just hammered out also.

Lead is still used in some organ pipes using the solder technique.

Joints in lead pipe just required the plumber to heat up a laddle of lead to
the melting point and just pouring it onto the joint. Rags were used to
"wipe" the joint and make the liquid lead go where wanted. Since lead is
quite soft, excess could easily be trimmed away.