So is threading PVC pipe an unnatural abomination like the top industry
experts at Home Depot, in their orange aprons, assert? Or just not often
worth the labor versus a glued fitting?

I see McMaster has them in several lengths.
http://www.mcmaster.com/#pvc-pipe-nipples/=5hexxy

Or fire up your lathe and make yer own. Use honed HSS and like 20 degree
rake

Karl