On Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:24:06 GMT, the infamous "Ray Field"
scrawled the following:
Have the need for a low cost CMM or equivalent.
The requirement is to measure bagpipe chanter reed blades (made with metal
machinery!). Reeds are of shaped bamboo slips one and one half inches long
by three quarter inches wide and sixty thou thick (that is the envelope
dimensions). Accuracy plus/minus half a thou. Blades are tapered in length
and width, variably.
Have considered a micrometer stage microscope, my eyes are getting weaker
but could probably manage with average of several readings. This method
would be OK for X & Y axes but what about Z? Could the focussing mechanism
provide accurate measurement?
Ideal would be a computerized laser measuring machine but definitely far too
costly.
Micrometers although very accurate are difficult to apply to the varying
thickness of the blades and angular geometry.
Anyone with experience measuring small parts in a quality control
environment. Any suggestions on suitable and available tools? (A hammer to
smash the reed and render the pipes inoperable is not an acceptable reply!)
Has anyone homebuilt a CMM equivalent?
Any leads on cheap components and plans for building one?
All help appreciated, and I promise that the reeds produced will make 'pipe
music better.
Ray, your post reminded me of the joke I received the other day.
Sorry, I have no CMM advice.
--snip--
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral
director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. He had no
family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in
the Kentucky back-country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a
typical man I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour
late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was
nowhere in sight.
There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the
side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in
place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I
played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends.
I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept,
I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes
and started for my car. Though my head hung low my heart was full.
As I was opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say,
"Sweet Mother of Jesus, I never seen nothin' like that before and I've
been putting in septic tanks for over twenty years."
--snip--
Oops, I just found another one. Sorry.
--snip--
So, this guy goes into a bar carrying an octopus, and he bets the
crowd $50 that the octopus can play any musical instrument like a pro.
People laugh.
First, someone leads the octopus over to a piano. The octopus plays
it beautifully, a haunting concerto. Next, someone brings out a
violin,
and the octopus plays that instrument like a pro. The owner of the
octopus collects on both bets.
Finally, someone brings out bagpipes. The octopus stares at it for a
long time, and finally tries to take it apart. Its owners gets it to
stop, and asks the octopus, "What's the matter with you? Play the
bagpipes!"
The octopus answers, "Play it? If I can get its pajamas off, I want
to screw it!"
--snip--
--
Every day above ground is a Good Day(tm).
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