Mary is going to have lunch with her friend Jan tomorrow so I was
teasing her about her once again going out with her phancy phriends
for a posh lunch while leaving me to fend for myself. She said,
"there's a crust of stale bread for you on the counter."

"Yeah, I saw that. You sliced it on the bias in both directions;
what was once a loaf now looks like a wedge."

"My slices today were just fine."

"I'll bet. Good thing you don't do circumcisions! Your victim would
be peeing on the leg of the hapless gent next to him."

"I see nothing bad in that if they're democrats!"