"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
. ..
did he need a calculator to calculate 10%?

tim

10 % oh if only it were that simple. The B&Q trade discount system
appears to have been designed by the team that previously worked out
the old British Rail fare structure. Bletchley Park would have been
stumped by this and Alan Turing likely have opened a bicycle repair
shop in frustration.
The basic premise is that under no circumstances should the customer
be able to work out what the discount will be. This is backed up by
staff who don't know either. Helpfully the till receipt is programmed
to display discount as 0% - whatever the discount subsequently turns
out to be. Not only does it vary from line to line but also product
to product and from month to month. Added to this is the volume
discount (the only transparent part of the system and mischeviously
included to give the false impression that someday all will
explained). A 'teaser' system also operates whereby specific products
will be stickered to the effect that 'cost with trade card is'. Fate
dictates that your needs will never coincide with one of these items.
Its like a Kafka play

Applause!


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

Thank you. I needed cheering up following a visit by the armed wing of the
same outfit "The Provisional B&Q" otherwise known as their 'Delivery
Service' (is that ever a misnomer) this afternoon. Whilst it always a
pleasure to renew ones aquaintance with the taciturn neanderthal that drives
their HIAB I had foolishly anticipated that the words "First drop of the
day" carefully scribed onto the whiteboard at the tradedesk would have
resulted in his cheery visage arriving at my jobsite rather earlier than
3.40.

Still at least it did eventually arrive. Their previous best effort was to
order the goods, arrange delivery, take payment and then do bugger all. I
gave up trying to talk to them on the phone and went down to the shed for a
face to face. The conversation went roughly as follows

Me "hello Fiona can you tell me whats going on with my delivery"
Fi " lets have a look at your sales advice - ok I know why its not been
delivered its because its not been scheduled"
Me " whys that then ?"
Fi " because you didnt pay for delivery"
Me " its a trade account - I don't pay for delivery"
Fi " are you sure, because it says here that you paid by credit card"
Me " well my receipt says B&Q Trade Card"
Fi " how did that happen then ?"

I lost the will to live at that point and somehow they contrived, quite by
accident to deliver everything to the right address later that day. But just
to prove who held the reins of power they did deliver scant instead of CLS.
And the wrong size.

Neil