Hustlin' Hank wrote:

(...)

It seems (after reading 80+ posts), you have multiple problems. Most
have been discussed, but let me go over them again and add my
solutions too.

First, you're making your "friends" problem yours.

That's what friends do, yes?

You bought her a mower and she sold it. Did she give you the money?
If she didn't, she is USING you.

Nah. Our relationship is outside the parameters of the problem.
I hesitate to drift the thread further by mentioning the many, many times
she has fed me and SWMBO and provided many tools and materials to
me personally, gratis. She also housed me and SWMBO while our
current house was undergoing remodel. I owe her, not the other way
around.

Second, she is too lazy, too dumb, or high maintenance to do the work
herself, so again, she is USING you.

Nah. She spent a *lot* of time out there with both weed-whackers.
Made some progress but obviously requires a different tool in
order to make the same kind of progress I experienced with the
gas powered brush cutter. She is smart and active but just needs
a tool that she can understand and use productively.

**********Old Fogy Story Alert**********

I once rented a bobtail truck. They first gave me one with (badly
adjusted) air-over-oil brakes as a joke. No matter how gently I
whispered to that brake pedal, the rear end of that sucker would
lock up and screech. Probably worked great with a significant
load. I brought it back inside of about 7 minutes 'cause I
imagined what the (empty)500+ mile trip back to the yard was
going to be like!

The 'tool' would have done the job just fine. The replacement
bobtail did the job just fine (and safely and quietly too).

Was I lazy, dumb, demanding, 'high maintenance'?
I have been all four, at times. Not this time, though.

Third, if she isn't giving you sex, she is USING you and you get
nothing.

Heh! I won't mention that to SWMBO.

Fourth, there are many solutions to the weed problem, but she don't
want to hear them because you are EASY.

Easy is good!

She cleaned up after me when I knocked the weeds over the first time.
She tried herbicide several times, she used the weed whackers a lot.
She will shortly try another herbicide suggested in this forum.

Fifth, the weeds can be plowed under, a herbicide applied and new
grass planted. But I am guessing she doesn't want to do that. I
guarantee that will work.

Yup. Rototilling has been suggested before and it is a good idea.
Is there a way to handle these monster weeds without having to
do that? Perhaps the suggested herbicide will be the ticket.
If it kills the seeds, we may be All Done. That'd be nice.

Sixth, if she is such a bitch as to complain about a little noise to
correct a problem, and you cater to her whims, you are as bad as she
is and you both deserve each other.

I'm going to get us tee shirts with opposing arrows:
"I'm as bad as that one!"

As loud as the noise is (believe me the brush cutter *is* painfully
loud) she prefers a tool that she can understand and use without help.
I can relate.

Seventh, if you aren't willing to listen to the wonder ideas presented
to you on this NG, then call in a professional. I'm guessing she
doesn't want to do that.

I heard all the ideas. I appreciate the time and thoughts of
all those generous folks who contributed to the solution.
We are gonna triumph over the monster plants and learn what
does and does not work, in the process.

My only other suggestion is...............DUMP HER and find a new
friend that won't use you to correct a problem that she obviously
doesn't want fixed.

That'd be rather cold and shallow after all she's done for me and SWMBO,
don't you think? What kind of friend would I be, then?

Hank ~~~thinks WINSTON has been smoking too much of this so called
"super weed"

Woo! Didn't mean to rile you, Hank!

--Winston -- So, do you want a hit or not?