We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "Rich" saying
something like:

One side of the tape measures in feet and inches and zero is at the tape
end. Other side measures in metres and cm but zero is about 32cm from
the end of the tape.

How am I supposed to use this tape meaure. In particular, I cannot
fathom how to use the metric side of the tape measure. Thanks.

I'd suppose it would be useful if you're measuring from a stick in the
ground, to wrap the blank around the stick.