Tom Watson wrote:
On Mon, 11 May 2009 10:55:01 -0500, Tim Daneliuk
wrote:
Robatoy wrote:
On May 11, 10:26 am, Tim Daneliuk wrote:
No argument here. When you're in a bar fight you do not have to wait until
someone actually hits you. If they threaten to hit you and have the
likely means to do so, you are morally justified hitting them "preemtively"
when the beer bottle they're holding is on the backswing.
That is only allowed if you write a quick, brief note of apology
first, THEN hit him so hard that he leaves his shoes behind as he
flies through the window.
It actually works this way:
1) He threatens to hit you.
2) You warn him not to.
3) He picks up and swings the bottle.
4) You flatten him and pour the bottle up his nose
demanding he tell you who else is trying to hit you.
5) Your limp wristed fellow bar patrons are horrified
by all the "violence" and "inhumanity" and blame you.
6) People who live nowhere near you hear about the incident
and vilify you as evil.
7) You are run out of town on a rail.
8) The guy who now has your job writes a long letter of apology
even though he wasn't in the bar at the time, has never been
in a fight, doesn't know how to do your job, and has lived off
of others his entire life.
9) The world relaxes with Hope.
A Lesson From Recent History:
1. You tell him to put down the bottle.
So does everyone else in the world. He ignores you.
2. He shows you that he does not have a bottle in either of his
hands.
Actually, he refuses to show you his hands or anywhere he
might have stashed a bottle. You demand - repeatedly -
that he allows you to see his hands. He pees on your shoes.
3. You shoot him, insisting that he had a bottle.
Because there are credible witnesses from all over the world
who say he has - including your own beer spies.
4. You say, "Miission Accomplished".
As it was. Then along comes your own Department Of Being Nice
To Everyone and demands you go to house of the man you
smacked and fix his toilet.
5. You spend years looking for bottles that were never there.
While at the same time trying to undo the damage that decades
of beer dictatorship have inflicted. You add schools, power,
clean water, sewer, and medical care to far flung corners of
the old empire, almost entirely at your own cost.
6. You move back to Texas.
Because almost anywhere is better to live than Washington D.C.
7. The guy who replaces you makes noises about prosecuting you for
shooting a man without a bottle.
Because he is inept and needed to have many powerful friends to
get your job. Now that he is in the job he needs others to actually
do it for him.
8. You ask some of your friends if they will have Texas secede so
that you will not be extradited.
!
9. ...to be continued...
10. While the world stays buzzed on Hopium, the brothers and friends of the
man whose brains you bashed in rejoin forces again, assured that your
replacement is utterly incompetent. They don't even bother buying beer
anymore, just the bottles, and very large bottle launchers. They hire
PR flacks to tell the world how utterly unfair their lot in life is
while they hit 5 year old children over the head with the bottles and
use the glass shards to mutilate their own wives and daughters.
To be continued indeed ...
Regards,
Tom Watson
http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/
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Tim Daneliuk
PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/