On 5/8/2009 3:06 PM Charlie E. spake thus:

Oh, you should try working the CO frame in Palm Desert! Temperature
is about 90, even with the HVAC running full out, and you put your arm
across a set of pins just as ring voltage comes through.

ZAP! your arm jerks up...

OUCH! as you impale your arm on the pins above

ZAP! as your arm comes back down on the pins below just as another
ring hits...

OUCH!!!! as you impale your arm on the pins above again!

Usually, after about two hits you get control... ;-)

Hah! That reminds me of that ditty about the Irishman hoisting bricks up
with a pulley ...

.... ah, there it is:

Why Paddy's Not At Work Today
(Tune: "In The Garden Where The Praties Grow")

Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today.

Whilst working on the 14th floor some bricks I had to clear
To throw them down from such a height was not a good idear
The foreman wasn't very pleased, the bloody awkward sod
And he said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job I was too blind to see
that a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me!

And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And, clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket til to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down!

The barrel broke my shoulder, as toward the ground it sped
And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with my head
I hung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks, 14 floors below.

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel, and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body racked with pain
When, halfway down, I met the bloody barrel once again!

The force of this collision, halfway up the office block
caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope, I fell towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks the barrel scattered round!

I lay there, groaning, on the ground; I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst...
A shower of bricks rained down on me; I hadn't got a hope...
As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go the bloody rope!

The barrel it was free to fall, and down it came once more
And landed right across me, as I lay upon the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say:
That I hope you understand why Paddy's not at work today!


--
Save the Planet
Kill Yourself

- motto of the Church of Euthanasia (http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/)