Smitty Two wrote:
In article ,
"HeyBub" wrote:



Okay. Give some thought to your response if, say, you uncover $10
million in counterfeit bills, Jimmy Hoffa, a round cylinder with the
international symbol for radioactivity, several machine guns packed
in cosmoline, twelve goat heads, a '55 Nash, a parakeet last used as
a pot-holder, etc.

I can't advise you on what to do; I can tell you what NOT to do
first. Don't call the authorities as your initial reaction. There's
almost always somebody better to call - Geraldo, for example.

Geraldo. Perfecting the art of turning buffoonery into fame and
wealth. I'll definitely call him if I find the pot-holder parakeet.

Don't worry, I might not be as lawless as, say, a Texan, but my
respect for and trust in "authorities" is pretty low. Besides, they'd
want to saw big holes in my bamboo floor so as to avoid crawling in
dirt with flashlights. I don't want that.

It could be worse, much worse, than sawing holes in your floor. You could be
on top of an Indian burial mound, a toxic waste dump, or any of dozens of
items necessitating evicting you for the good of the children.


So I'll deal with the contents of the dirt quietly. Would Hoffa go in
the recycle bin, or straight to garbage?

Dunno. If *I* found Jimmy Hoffa's remains, I think I'd find some way to
install them on the property of some public figure. For example, the sliver
of land Obama bought from Resko...

Then, before snitching out the facts, I'd want to corner the popcorn
concession...