David Nebenzahl wrote:
On 2/18/2009 12:20 PM HeyBub spake thus:

Not to worry, this newsgroup is a safe haven at this point in time.

Ah, cop-speak: I love it.

"At this point in time we have not, as of yet, apprehended the male
person, the gentleman who is wanted, who is, uh, wanted as a person of
interest, as well as the female person who was last seen in the
vicinity of the aforementioned male person."

Who teaches those guys/gals to talk that way?

Speaking as an ex-cop and a law school drop-out, you talk that way because,
by tens of thousands of experiences, it is the manner that will get you in
the least trouble.

I recall a Los Angeles police captain who was ambushed by a reporter after
some sort of civil disturbance. The reporter asked: "Why are you using 'pain
compliance' on these peaceful protestors? Why not just pick them up and
carry them to the paddy wagon?" The chief looked at the reporter and said:
"Eat a bug."

You can imagine the story in the next day's paper.

On the other hand, why do reporters often say "So-and-so was arrested on
suspicion of this-and-that." Surely the reporter did NOT get that from a
cop. No one can be arrested for "suspicion" of anything. It is not against
any law anywhere to be "suspicous."

Being "suspicious" may get you on the No-Fly list, but it won't get you
arrested.

Speaking of No-Fly...

In February of 2002 (five months after 9-11 when the National Guard was
patrolling the airports), an elderly gentleman was stopped at the Sky Harbor
airport in Phoenix for trying to board an airplane with a "Ninja Star"
looking device. Further investigation showed this gentleman was
single-handedly responsible for destroying 34 aircraft with the loss of life
of everybody aboard those planes!

The "gentleman" was Joe Foss. Foss was the former governor of South Dakota,
former president of the American Football League, retired Brigadier General
in the South Dakota National Guard, and, for 24 years, the host of the TV
program, "American Sportsman." He had just left a Board of Director's
meeting of the National Rifle Association and was enroute to the U.S.
Military Academy at West Point to deliver a guest lecture on patriotism.

The "Ninja Star" device he was carrying? It was the Medal of Honor given him
by Franklin Roosevelt for downing 23 Japanese planes during the Battle of
Guadacanal.

When told he could board his flight, but he'd have to leave his potential
weapon behind, Foss is reported to have said: "You've done ****ed with the
wrong Marine, sonny."

The only thing that could have made this episode more delirious would have
been for it to have happened in Joe's hometown of Sioux Falls. The name of
the airport there is "Joe Foss Field."

A similar thing happened to me at that same airport last February. While
standing in line to board a Southwest flight, a diminutive TSA agentette
taps me on the shoulder and says: "Excuse me sir, can I get you to do me a
favor?"

I look down at her and say: "I can't. I'm married."

I am (barely) living proof that the TSA does NOT have a sense of humor.