Grandmother's Advice to Her Grandson:

My grandmother died in 1965, but her birthday is coming up, and that
always causes me to reminisce.

The long walks we used to take to the store, the quarters she gave me
for meaningless jobs like pulling weeds or washing the sidewalk.

Those gems were all good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the
crown of grandmotherly advice, occurred when I was only about 13.

We were sitting in a park having just finished collecting some 40 soda
bottles for the deposit money.

She told me that one day, I would find a wonderful woman and start my
own family.

“And always remember”, she said. “Be sure you marry a woman with small
hands.”

“How come, Grandma?” I asked her.

She answered in her soft Irish voice. “Makes your dick look bigger.”


Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?