TheOldFellow gurgled happily, sounding much like
they were saying:

All of those cost more money than you are willing to pay.

No-one ever asks us if we are willing to pay for it. They just refuse
to even offer it.

********.

They "refuse" to offer faster ADSL because of the limits of the
technology.

They "refuse" to offer cable, because new cable hasn't been laid
_anywhere_ in the country for YEARS, because of the back debts from
laying the last lot.

You've been given links to faster rural broadband options, available
today. But they're clearly too expensive for you. Oh, wait, you've
claimed that's not the problem.

You'll get faster broadband at some stage, when BT's 21CN upgrades get
around to you. But that probably won't be fast enough for you, because
other people will still have better than you.

I bet you're a _nightmare_ whenever a delivery wagon pulls up outside
next door, trying to see if they've gone a step ahead of you so you need
to go and buy a newer/bigger/faster widget to stay level.