gurgled happily, sounding much like they were
saying:

The only thing missing in this feast of information is how the
individual pins are numbered on the socket. Â*I can find how they're
numbered on the cable, but not the socket.

A two-second google finds...http://pinouts.ru/connectors/rj45m.gif

Ah, but that's the cable.

No, it's the plug. You've already been given the colour codes for the
cable that correspond with which socket pin.

I need the socket.

holds head in hands
D'you think that pin 1 on the cable might correspond to pin 1 on the
socket...?