On Sun, 24 Aug 2008 04:31:01 -0700, with neither quill nor qualm,
Gunner Asch quickly quoth:

Previously on RCM:
Motor Bearings

Muffler Bearings

Military Bearings

Compass Bearings

Soul barings.

Breast barings.

Bare Breasts

Bear breasts

Bear arms (Bears are *very* well-armed anyway)

fire arms

Fire water

Water Wings

The bear, baring bare breasts, bid your soul goodbye as he armed his
military water wings with fire water, consulted his compass, and
proceeded to muffle his intentions from bearing upon the innocent.


That said, this came in email this morning and I thought it should be
shared:
--snip--
Marine Corps Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you
meet.
6. Never attend a gunfight w/a handgun whose caliber doesn't start
with a
"4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap.
Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral &
diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you
lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance,
or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your
intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL's Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point
presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry
executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but
close enough to have tax exemption.

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines
--snip--

--
Smokey the Bear's rules for fire safety should apply to government:
Keep it small, keep it in a confined area, and keep an eye on it.
--John Stossel in _Myths, Lies, and Downright Stupidity_