Arch wrote:

Talking radio & TV heads make great empty wood bowls. They are all wet.
Their grain is weak and isn't straight. Their bark is rough, but even
turned on their bias it's superficial and easily turned off. They are
unbalanced and wobble, but we can straighten them out. They take all
finishes poorly. They do present a few other problems, but these are
removed by applying a little abrasive pressure.

They sprout and grow wild in every area, but weed killers keep them
under control. They will never be a proper substitute for a sensible
straight grained, native timber with deep roots, trunks that stand tall
and gentle, yet distinctly firm crowns so different from talking heads.

"And now for the news, but first a word from our sponsors". Nuts!


Turn to Safety, Arch
Fortiter

Great writing - and funny - though, sadly, true.