Nice story, Bubba-

However, when I went to college, fresh out of the USAF, I didn't have access
to any tools other than my 'issue' pocket knife.

My parents had found a two-room apartment near the college {I got an 'early
out' that allowed me one week before the start of the Fall semester - I
still had to drive from Northern California to Philly}. I'd seen pictures -
old, cracked walls {from who knows how many coats of paint OVER the OLD
wall-paper, a 'kitchenette' from the 30's, but most of all - CHEAP !! {turns
out 'Condemned', as well !!}

Being of a 'Nautical bent' I picked up an old fishing net, some glass
'floats' I brought back from SEA, some wood ones I 'saved' from family trips
to New England, and an old 'Nova Scotia style' Lobster Trap. Toss into the
mix an 'assemble-it-yourself' leather fronted bar and a 'Sheared {synthetic}
Black Fur & Tiger' sofa.

The net made a 'drop ceiling' and 'disguised the cracks & stains - no light
fixture, only painted over sconces. Draped it down in one corner as a
background to the bar . {my 'dinner table' for several months}, my medals,
some dried 'sea objects d'art' and drift wood adding interesting touches.
The Trap became the 'coffee table'.

With understandable pride, I showed it off to a recent acquaintance at
school - also ex-USAF, but living at home. "Where's the 105 ?", were his
first words. "This place looks like an 'Artillery Pit' ".

One of my first 'female invitees' had a different take; "Interesting
decorating scheme - 'Early Whorehouse', isn't it ?" {Obviously a 'Design'
Student}.

Regards,
Ron Magen
Backyard Boatshop

PS: The fact that this year will be our 30th wedding anniversary, and that
is the apartment I was living in when I met her, must mean something . . .

"Bubba" wrote in message
. ..
A previous post reminded me on one of my earliest furniture projects. A
coffee table.



I was fresh out of grad school, gainfully employed with an
honest-to-gawd
salary and about to furnish my first apartment. Décor was very much of
the
brick-and-board school . It occurred to me that I could make a very
simple
(but striking) coffee table out of two untreated railroad ties. If
memory
serves, the dimension of a tie was 6-in x 9-in x 9 feet. All it would
take
would be 6 cuts: 4 to lop of a set of 6-inch pieces for the feet, 2 for
the
crossbars and the remainder would be the body of the table. Simple. No
fasteners. Gravity would hold it together.



I found a supplier of ties in the yellow pages. They quoted me a price
of
$5.50 per tie (this was 1970). Hey - - I could afford $11. for a coffee
table.



I rented a pick-up ($20 per day) and during my lunch hour headed for the
railroad tie boutique to collect (what was now ) a $31 coffee table. At
the
tie place, I discovered a couple of things: 1) I couldn't load my own
ties.
It had to be done by a union worker; 2) the union didn't work during the
lunch hour, and 3) all the really good ties were contracted to the Union
Pacific. The ones they were selling me were slightly warped. I headed
back, turned in the pickup at the rental place and learned that there
was
also a 25 cent per mile charge. Now my table had become a $36 dollar
item.



Several days later, I slipped out of the office early, phoned ahead to
be
sure the Union was ready for me, rented a truck and picked up my $60
dollar
coffee table.



Over the weekend, I lugged the ties to the home of a friend who owned a
table saw. It took a few hours, but eventually it sunk in that the
average
table saw, owned by the average compliant friend is NOT engineered to
make
precision cuts (or any other sort of cuts for that matter) on a 100 lb
tie
horsed onto the table and hand fed into the blade. The new blade cost
$12.
It took most of Sunday, but eventually all six cuts were performed with
a
hand bucksaw purchased ($8) at the local hardware store. The cuts
wandered
all over the place and the ends weren't square, but what was I supposed
to
expect for an $80 coffee table.



Since the ties were slightly warped, all components now had small, but
noticeable skew. No problem. I rented a belt sander ($9/dy). The guy
at
the rental place asked me now many belts I wanted. I didn't have any
idea.
He recommended that I take a box and return the un-used ones. It's a
heckuva lot faster to sand with a new belt, so I changed belts
frequently.
Ten belts. Four bucks a belt. At $129 it still looked like a pile of
unpainted railroad ties. Another friend clued me in to Watco Danish
Rubbing
Oil. I bought a can. It cost slightly more (per unit volume) than the
brand of bourbon that I was drinking (in my formative years). Ten
dollars
for a can of the stuff. I spread out a drop cloth, laid out one of the
longer pieces and drizzled a little of the oil onto the surface of the
tie.
SLURP (Ross Perot's enormous sucking sound). The stuff disappeared into
the
wood like **** into a snow bank. It took two more cans to make any
noticeable difference in the appearance. So, at $159, the end was in
sight.
Now all it needed was a glass top (1/4 inch, smoked glass, rounded
edges)
$27.



My male friends all agreed that my $186 coffee table was an item of
superb
design and construction. My female acquaintances seemed to feel
otherwise.
"Butt-ugly" is the term that they seemed to favor. Women, as a group,
don't appreciate fine craftsmanship.