If the freezer in your fridge has more “in progress” turned pieces than
frozen food -

If you have a freezer just for “in progress turning” -

If, by volume or weight, you have more equivalent trees on your
property than you have actual standing trees -

If you regularly have to shake wood turnings out of your pockets, shoes,
socks or shorts -

If you have to floss to get wood shavings out from between your teeth -

If your fingers change colors based on the wood you’ve been playing with
-

If you suppliment your income by selling shavings to barbecue
aficianados -

If your heart rate rises significantly as you drive passed a firewood
lot -

If you HAVE TO slow down to have a look at EVERY pile of wood along side
the road -

If you have a chainsaw - and can of 2 stroke gas - in your mini-van, or
luxury sport ute -

If you have less “silver ware” than you do gouges and chisels -

If “ground chuck” makes your head spin trying to visualize it -

If you can’t see a water tower without wondering ‘How the hell did they
turn that?’ -

If you get disappointed when the “bowling” TV program you tuned in to
see involves rolling a ball down a lane of hardwood and the only thing
in the show that’s turned is what they’re throwing large balls at -

If you buy liquid dishwashing detergent (LDD) by the gallon (or 55
gallon drums), yet always have a sink full of dirty dishes -

If the chorus of the Byrds’ “To Every Thing There Is A Season” creates
an almost irrisitable urge to stand in front of a lathe -

If someone says “Turn around.” or “Don’t turn around” and you think DUH!
Or HUH?! Respectively -

If “round the bend” is an oxymoron to you -

charlie b