"Stormin Mormon" wrote in
:

You don't know Jack Schitt...

The lineage is now revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response
when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt," but now you can handle
this situation with confidence!
Jack is the only son of O. Schitt and Awe Schitt. O. Schitt, the
fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep
N.Schitt, Inc.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious
couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt,
Bull Schitt and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents objections, Deep Schitt married Dump Schitt, a
high school drop-out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe
Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Scherlock, and because
her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and they produced a nervous son,
Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable
throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in
a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspapers announced
the Schitt-Happens wedding. They created a bumper sticker and made
millions. You've probably seen it...
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse. Bull Schitt,
the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned
from Italy with his new bride Pisa Schitt.
So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can
correct them and inform them of your more than deep knowledge of the
family tree.





Are the the Schitts form the Up Schitt's Creek area by any chance?