On Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:24:51 -0800, Oren wrote:

0On Wed, 26 Dec 2007 19:12:21 -0600, Caesar Romano
wrote:

I hate to admit it, but B.O. is the only candidate with a reasonable
health care plan:

How do I keep a candidate out of my wallet?

*
THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES...

A CHRISTIAN:
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST:
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being
successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you
to
sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then
take
the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel
righteous.

A COMMUNIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with
milk.

A FASCIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk.
You
join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to
sell
both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which
was a
gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks
the
other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once
a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count
them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn
you
have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like.
You
take a nap.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for
storing
them for others.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American
corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation
declares
bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.
Oren
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