averydarkplace wrote:
I want something with zero maintenance and have my doubts about
linoleum tiles.

The top grade tiles are OK. Inlaid flooring is better.

snip

I'd rather leave it the way it is, but my wife wants the bathroom
pretty. But we don't want to end up with a pile of ugly mangled
plastic permanently glued to a perfectly usable floor.

Leave it the way it is. Send your wife to a few interior decorator
classes to help her acquire some fashion sense. HTH

Joe