The beams in my cottage have been "painted" with a dark brown
substance that looks like something from those stop smoking adverts
twenty years ago. It's not quite gloss paint (though it is glossy) -
where the Neanderthal who applied it has gone over white lighting
flex, it looks a bit like thickly spread marmite.
I'd like to remove it and get the beams looking a little healthier.

What can I try ?

Simon