AUNTY SHARON
A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment to
get their Parents to tell them a story with a moral at the
end.


The next day the kids came back and one by one told their
stories. Karl said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot
of egg laying chooks. One time we were taking our eggs to
market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit
a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and
broke and made a mess.'


'What's the moral of the story?' asked the teacher. 'Don't
put all your eggs in one basket!' 'Very good,' said the
teacher.


Next little Emily raised her hand and said, 'Our family are
farmers too. But we raise chooks for the meat market. One
day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got
ten live chicks and the moral to this story is: 'Don't count
your chickens before they're hatched'.'



'That was a fine story Emily. Mick, do you have a story to
share?'



'Yes. My dad told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty
Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and
her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory
and all she had was 3 bottles of rum, a machine gun and a
machete. She drank all the rum on the way down so it
wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of
100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the
machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed
twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then
she killed the last ten with her bare hands.'



'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of
moral did your father tell you from that horrible story?'



'Stay the f*ck away from Aunty Sharon when she's been on the
****.