"Ed Zagmoon" wrote in message
ps.com...
I want to be a serial killer and I want to use wooden weapons.

What can I build with wood to kill people and how can I
avoid being arrested by the cops?

I recommend buying a wooden stick. Buy a good one. Pay about $100 for it-
even though the saleperson says its only worth $10. That way it will
magically increase in potency to a higher level. Use the magic words- "Keep
the change, sucker!!!!"

Sharpen the stake. Use your own ass for that. It will help cure your
hemoroid ailments if you have them.

Next step, stab yourself in the heart. If you don't succeed - lie on the
ground holding the stake- that way, when a Mack Truck goes up it will assist
the penetration process.

Last step, you will become a vampyre, a member of the undead!! That way the
cops will never be able to catch you!!!!

Best wishes,

Wylie Wilde