Last January I noticed my old toilet was cracked where it bolts to the
floor and it was leaking. I went and bought a brand new (expensive)
toilet and replaced the old one. Before buying the new toilet, I
rented one of those porta-johns and had it placed on the lawn in my
backyard, so I had a place to take a **** while I replaced the toilet.
It was really cold going outside to that porta-john but it took care
of my needs during the three weeks I spent installing the new toilet.
I finally got the new toilet installed, turned on the water and it
flushed well. But I got thinking. I have a brand new virgin toilet.
It's nice and clean and not contaminated with **** and ****. Somehow
I just dont want to take a **** in this nice clean toilet. Because of
this, I just kept renting the porta-john, and they came and pumped it
out every week.

My asshole neighbor must have noticed the pumper truck and he called
the city inspectors. They sent me a notice that I can not have a
porta-john in my yard for a permanent installation. They cited the
law that states they can only be used for temporary use during
construction and for other specific uses. They gave me until the end
of the month to have it removed, unless I apply for some special
permit. I attempted to get the permit, but it was denied because I do
not meet any of their requirements.

I dont know what to do. On November first, I will not have any place
to take a **** unless I drive to the nearest gas station which is over
a mile away and closed from 11pm until 6am every day. What should I
do? Is there some sort of indoor porta-john I can get?

Larry R.