On 22 Jul 2006 02:24:29 GMT, D Murphy wrote:

I'm still puzzled over the "You'd think the ID was on the inside"
comment. Uhhh, Cliff? Where else would the ID be?

He seems to be having trouble with OD's, ID's, slots and corner breaks
lately.

You two need to stay well away from pipes or skilled technical jobs,
such as plumbing.

Once again ....

[
CONTRACTOR'S STANDARD PIPE & FITTING SPECIFICATION
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(1) All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal concentric
with hole.

(2) All pipe is to be hollow throughout entire length. Do not use holes
of different length than the pipe.

(3) All pipe is to be of very best quality, perfectly tubular or pipular.

(4) All acid proof pipe is to be made of acid proof metal.

(5) OD of all pipe must exceed the ID otherwise the hole will be on
the outside.

(6) All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole so that water, steam,
or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

(7) All pipe is to be supplied without rust, as this can be more readily put
on at the job site.

(8) All pipe is to be cleaned free of any covering such as mud, tar,
barnacles,
or any form of manure before putting up, otherwise it will make lumps
under the paint.

(9) All pipe over 500 feet long must have the words "long pipe" clearly
painted
on each end so that fitter will know that it is long pipe.

(10) Pipe over two miles long must also have these words painted in the
middle so that fitter will not have to walk the full length of pipe to
determine if it is long pipe or not.

(11) All pipe over six inches in diameter is to have the words "large pipe"
painted on it, so that the fitter will not use it for small pipe.

(12) All pipe closures are to be open on one end.

(13) All pipe fittings are to be made of the same stuff as the pipe.

(14) No fittings are to be put on pipe unless specified. If you do, straight
pipe
becomes crooked pipe.

(15) Fittings come in all sort of sizes and shapes. Be sure to specify the
direction you are going when ordering.

(16) Fittings come bolted, welded or screwed -- always use screwed. They are
the best kind.

(17) Flange must be used on all pipe. Flanges must have holes for bolts
quite separate from the big hole in the middle.

(18) If flanges are to be blank or blind, the big hole in the middle must be
filled
with metal.

(19) All flanges must be cast or forged of the very best iron metal, close
and grained, free from blow holes, lumps, cavities, pock marks, pin
pricks,
and warts, otherwise we can't use them.

(20) Gaskets are to be used to fill spaces between flanges.

(21) Gaskets are to be made of metal, rubber, [plastic, paper or some kind
of goop -- do not use cow or sheep manure, it cracks when it gets dry.

(22) All bolts are to be screwed.

(23) All bolts must have a head on one end and a nut on the other.

(24) Bolts without heads are to be furnished as studs.

(25) Studs without heads are to be screwed all over and have two nuts which
is standard. Studs with three nuts are not to be used since they would
be odd.

(26) All nuts are to be furnished in sacks. Sacks must be whole and sound,
minimum two nuts per sack. Paper sacks will not be tolerated.

(27) All piping must be installed with valves.

(28) All valves must have an opening on each end with a flapper in the middle
that goes up and down or sideways when you turn the wheel or crank so
that it will open or close, otherwise the stuff will run out the ends.

(29) Valves are to be furnished by the kind required as follows:

Ball valves are to have a ball inside
Gate valves are to have a gate inside
Globe valves are to have a globe inside
Check valves are to have a check inside
Angle valves are to have an angle inside
Plug valves are to have a plug inside
Diaphragm valves art to have a diaphragm inside.

(30) Ball valves are not to be used anywhere with a female connection.

(31) Diaphragm valves are to be used with a female connection.

(32) All completed piping lines must go somewhere and connect to something.
The fitter is required to verify this before turnover.

(33) All pipes shorter than 1/8" are uneconomical in use, requiring many
joints.
They are generally known as washers.

(34) Other commodities are often confused with pipes. These include: Conduit,
tube, tunnel and drain. Use only genuine pipe.

(35) Scottish Regiments in the Army use Army pipes in unusual ways. These are
not approved of in engineering circles.

(36) When ordering 90 degree or 30 degree elbows, be sure to specify
right hand or left hand, other wise you will be going the wrong way.

(37) Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or
downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipe for going uphill the product will
flow the wrong way.

(38) All coupling should have either right hand or left hand thread, ut
do not mix the threads, otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on
one
pipe, it's being screwed off the other.

(39) Joints in pipes for water must be water tight. Those in pipes for
compressed air however need only be air tight.

(40) Lengths of pipe may we welded or soldered together. This method is
not recommended for concrete or earthenware pipes.

(41) Pipe over 5 feet in diameter shall have an arrow* painted at 10 foot
intervals
with the word EXIT.

(42) When such pipe is longer than 20 feet all the arrows* must point in the
same direction.

* It has been suggested that the arrow(s) point to the open end of the
pipe.
This option is under study by the committee.

]
--
Cliff