sm_jamieson wrote:
Peter Parry wrote:
On Thu, 8 Jun 2006 17:12:16 +0100, simbac
wrote:
Does anyone know why a saniplus (saniflow) macerator would be stinking
out a bathroom?
Because it is designed by the French as a cunning form of biological
warfare to use against the British. Contrary to their name they are
not sanitary and rarely flow.
when the shower is used or the bath is drained too
quickly it backs up and stinks! BUT only some of the time.
The hideous devices are a monument to incompetent design. They
combine a motor with low starting torque, a mincer borrowed from
Moulinex and a concept so completely inane that it is beyond rational
belief. The Saniplus added additional "functions" to the standard
dastardly box to allow it to be used with a shower and bath. To
achieve this they added various flap valves and (note carefully) a
"carbon filter", with no explanation of why one might be needed
although one can guess.
Now, instead of merely having a box for mincing excrement which
blocks whenever anything which hasn't gone through the human
alimentary tract is put in it they have added valves. Valves which
leak, which catch hairs from the sink and shower and stop working
properly. When they stop working properly the contents of the mincer
get backfed into the bath and shower and sink.
Initially this happens intermittently but soon it will be every time
it is used. If you like washing in the toilet bowl this isn't an
issue. It also isn't a fault - it is a design feature. The French,
as everyone knows, don't use showers or baths so the designers
assumed the valves would only need to function occasionally and
designed them accordingly.
We've just moved in 2 months ago and had nothing but problems with
this,
The best solution is to torch the house now.
the previous owners had claimed no problems with the house!!
I'm sure they had no problems with the house. The Sanibog would be a
different matter. Saniflo owners develop a mental black hole when it
comes to the hideous devices. Point at the loo it is connected to
and they will claim no toilet exists. It is a necessary form of self
protection mechanism as the reality is many times worse than the
delusion.
Saniflos block. They all block. They are completely incompatible
with children for two reasons. Firstly they block when the child
puts anything other than emanations from its body down them (children
like the nice noises they make when fed teaspoons). Secondly they
block when you try to put the child down them having discovered what
it has done. They are incompatible with females - females cannot
exist without cotton wool - Saniflos cannot co-exist with cotton
wool. One Saniflo owner adopted the same technique he used on his
small boat which had a temperamental sea toilet. He accompanied
users to the facility and at the appropriate time yanked them off the
throne and inspected the pan contents before allowing flushing to
take place.
You can tell houses with Saniflos - request by visitors to go to the
loo are greeted with looks of absolute horror and they are handed the
key to the neighbours front door. The toilet door incorporates a
metal detector and the bowl is under CCTV surveillance. The loo roll
dispenser is computer controlled and issues no more than one sheet
every 25 minutes.
The kitchen in Saniflo houses is a temple to prunes. Prune juice is
followed by porridge and prunes for breakfast. Lunch is prune
omelette, dinner a nice glass of prune juice followed by prune
cocktail, steak and prunes and prune jelly. Supper will be prune jam
on toast.
"No problems" when applied to a Saniflo does not mean "no" or
"problem" in the accepted meaning of the words. If one of their
periodic malfunctions does not lead to a Biohazard team turning up at
your doorstep and as long as you are let out of hospital in less than
a month and without growing an extra eye or limb the event does not
count as a problem
Is there a way to fix this
Yes - destroy the Saniflo or demolish the house.
or is it better to replace the unit?
If you are severely masochistic. The next will do exactly the same
and changing a unit is not something one does without arranging an
extensive course of prophylactic antibiotics and various
inoculations.
Does anyone know if saniflo's engineers are honest??
What has honesty got to do with it? Firstly there is no evidence at
all that Saniflo employ engineers anywhere at all within the
organisation. Secondly, if they did they wouldn't be out fixing
sludgebuckets. You might find a local plumber desperate enough to
open it up but you can guarantee you will find any quote multiplying
by an order of magnitude as soon as you mention "saniflo".
To clean it (which is all it needs - regularly) usually involves
removing the offending article. The plumber who installed it (who
will never come back to repair it) probably giggled as he put it in
the most inaccessible place in the house (I've seen one installed in
an attic behind the bathroom wall).
Once you have gained access by destroying the tilework and lifting
the bath out removing it is a simple task which involves taking off
all the drain pipes. This of course releases the contents of the
waste pipes all over the floor. The "Plus" here means "plus extra
gunge".
When removed (and the bathroom floor cut out, burned and replaced)
the box can be opened to reveal a sludge of old excrement, hair
residue and grey slime from soap remains lining the structure and
obstructing the valves - think of it as cholesterol for bogs.
This detritus has to be scraped out. It is wise to arrange suitable
containment and disposal experts to be present to remove it if one
wishes to avoid a visit and free door restructuring at 04:00 by SO12.
Assuming the protective suit remains intact most maintainers survive
this procedure but Gangrene, Flux, Gleet, Beriberi, Black pox,
Cholera, Mormal and Hectic fever are common amongst the poor souls
forced by circumstance to seek a wage this way.
The valves, once scraped clean of the encrusting material, will
function again for a short time but as inevitably as a cholesterol
soaked heart will clog again.
There are only two ways of preventing Sanibog malfunctions. The
first is never to use them, the second, and most reliable, is to
remove them entirely.
The whole idea of having a glorified food processor stuck under your
loo to mince the effluent (if it can) and pump it under pressure
through a tiny pipe is simply mind bogglingly crazy. To expect such
a device to work without fault for any length of time is a triumph of
hope over intelligence.
--
Peter Parry.
http://www.wpp.ltd.uk/
LOL !!
If anything, that's even better than the saniflo diatribe by Peter in
the FAQ.
Cheers,
Simon.
Not much consolation for the poor sod who's just bought the house though.
I can't believe someone hasn't come up with one of these that works, or
at least one that can be fixed easily. They're certainly not going to go
away, having made all kinds of flat conversions possible, especially in
the posher urban districts.