Why is this lathe not like any other tool?

First off, a disclaimer: Anyone has a right to any lathe they want and
can afford. They should think of it and use it any way they wish. That
said, consider your wood lathe for all it can do for you:
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It can make thick or thin cylinders and thick or thin discs from
misshapen blanks or make misshapen cylinders or discs from shapely
blanks. It can make these into functional and/or pleasing or ugly hollow
or solid forms. These need not be round as your lathe can make cubes and
other geometric forms, inside-outside, thermed, oval or offset, It lets
you mix & match planes, curves, coves, beads, faces, tenons, mortises
and tapers. Wow!

Silky smooth or scorched, stressed or textured, it can finish these
forms to whatever practical, attractive, gross or artistic appearance
you want for any use and enjoyment you desire. Whew!

It can cut and scrape, bore large holes, drill long holes, ream,
countersink, counterbore and center drill. Gosh!

It can machine soft metals like copper and aluminum. It can accept light
duty cross slides, compound rests, longitudinal feeds and milling vises.
It can cut threads or make them with taps or dies. It can spin metal
objects on a selfmade armature. It can index holes and carvings and act
as a carver's vise. It is a large clamp, a center drill and a polishing
head. It winds coils and springs and can buff and wire brush rusty
tools, pots and pans. Golly!

It can if you insist, (altho it takes no pleasure in it) be a grinder or
an anvil. It doesn't like being a work bench, a tool rack or a
miscellany shelf, but it will groan and bear it if you ask it to. Gee!

It can make simple ornamental turnings, even ellipses, and it doesn't
object to being thought eccentric or multicentered in its work. A few
have been known to undergo a gender change and become bungee or gas
engine driven, even a pumping lathe. Often it masquerades as a revolving
spray painting platform. It can be a copy cat and spit out tacky
spindles like a broken soft drink machine. Haw!

Its metal cousin is the only machine tool that can reproduce itself and
continue the species. It can too, with a little help from a parts donor.
Hee!

Sadly there are a few rogue lathes that perform illegal surgery:
amputations, joint replacements, blood letting, hair or scalp removal
and bungled cosmetics. Ouch!

Anaphylactic shock and euthanasia happen, but thankfully very rarely.
Ugh!

I hope I've answered my question. This lathe is the king of machine
tools and no, it's not at all like all other tools. Hooray!


Turn to Safety, Arch
Fortiter



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