"The3rd Earl Of Derby" wrote in message
k...
phoned the local hire place.

I said, can I have skip outside such'n'such a street.
He said whats stopping you.

Funny bugger.

--
Sir Benjamin Middlethwaite



An imposter!

Hang on, as we are now on the 19th Earl of Derby, how can you be the 3rd
Earl Of Derby?

Edward Stanley, 3rd Earl of Derby (c. 1508-24 October 1572) was an English
nobleman.

At the age of thirteen, Edward received the titles and estates of his
father, the 2nd Earl of Derby, and King Henry VIII took responsibility for
bringing him up until he was of age. His commissioners, including Cardinal
Thomas Wolsey were responsible for most of his affairs.

In 1528, he accompanied Cardinal Wolsey on a mission to France, and in 1530,
he was one of the peers who gave Pope Clement VII the declaration regarding
Henry's divorce with Catherine of Aragon. That same year, the Duke of
Norfolk decided to wed his eldest daughter, Catherine, to Edward; however,
this was done without the King's permission (which was required). The King
rebuked Howard but allowed the marriage to continue; unfortunately,
Catherine became a victim of the plague a few weeks after the marriage.
Undeterred, Howard's half-sister, Dorothy, became Edward's second wife.

In 1532, Edward accompanied King Henry to Boulogne, where they met with King
Francois I. After this meeting, Edward became a Knight of the Bath. A few
years later, Edward took a major role in quelling the Pilgrimage of Grace, a
large (mainly church-related) rebellion started in Lincolnshire and spread
into North England. In 1542, Edward accompanied the Duke of Norfolk on a
raid into Scotland.

When Edward VI ascended to the throne in 1547, Edward became a Knight of the
Garter, and in 1550, he was one of the peers that was present at the peace
proceedings with Scotland and France. A year later, various charges were
brought upon him (with little or no evidence), mainly due to his opposition
to clerical reform. However, when Queen Mary ascended to the throne, he was
again in favor, and was appointed Lord High Steward and became a Privy
Councillor. He was commissioner of Lady Jane Grey's trial, and was
frequently present during the trials of accused heretics. He remained in
favor under Queen Elizabeth I's reign, and remained on her Privy Council.
She eventually appointed him chamberlain of Chester.

Edward Stanley died at Lathom House, and his titles and estates were passed
on to his eldest son, Henry Stanley.

Aha, foiled your fiendish attempt at nobility!