I moved into a new house on a well, about 6 months ago.
There's a paper filter by the pressure tank; I've had to change it
every 3-4 weeks because it gets clogged and pressure drops to nothing..

The developer has told me this is normal, because it takes time for the
well to "develop"
(though none of my immediate neighbors has had to change their filters
so often)

Recently however, a brand new filter became clogged with sand
immediately.
The developer had me run a hose from the tank to purge it, but the
water never ran clear. So he talked to the well digger, who claims the
problem is that I haven't used enough water so the well has never
developed. The immediate solution is to run a house from the outside
hydrant and do a bucket test every few days to see if there's still
sand coming out. The water has been running for about a week now and
there is still a lot of sand coming up.. if anything it's gotten worse.

The developer says this is still normal and there's nothing wrong with
the well. So his solution is a mechanical pump which will regularly
flush out the sand. Cost is about $500 which he seems to think *I*
should pay.

I find it hard to beleive that there isn't something wrong with the
well that is allowing excess sand to come in.

What kinds of questions should I ask the developer to have the well
digger check?

thanks!
EmilyS