Agreed. Absolutely the worst thing to do is sand blasting. Next worst
is any scraping or sanding. Nitromors or similar only, used gently with
plastic brushes etc. Impossible to remove stain so you might as well
learn to like it. Treat it with raw linseed/real turps half and half.
Will be rich and dark but will polish up. If you don't like dark oak
then paint it. If you've already done much sanding it will probably
look a mess so you might as well just paint it and forget it.

cheers

Jacob