I think I've just run into rec.crafts.woodturning.poet.laureate.
This is an amazing description. I wish I could put words together like
that.
This should be saved and published periodically.
I'm going to save a copy to mount over my lathe.

Thank you for posting.



"charlie b" wrote in message
...
Not that far ahead of you in time but a lot farther down
the slippery slope of "tools and accessories" - the part
of turning you don't see when you get a lathe and a few
gouges and chisels. Then there's the stuff to keep them
sharp - white wheels, blue wheels, slow speed grinders,
special jigs for fingernail grinds, leather wheels,
stropping compounds, slip stones, diamond paste, . . .

If you have a fireplace or wood burning stove half of
each cord of wood for it will never become ashes -
piles and piles of chips and saw dust - but never ahses.
The guys who have wood lots will see you coming and
turn on the CLOSED sign -or begin making plans for
that vacation in the Bahamas they've been dreaming
about.

And catalogs will begin to fill your mailbox. Flyers
from a wood merchant in Indonesia will mysteriously
appear on your coffee table. Your e-mail in box
will begin receiving "For the descriminating turner"
messages.

You'll see trees, and even bushes, in a different way.
"If I 'prune' that branch right here . . .." At some
point a bandsaw will become a necessity and then
bowls and plates and Vahses begin to fill shelves and
table tops. Stuff that was metal or ceramic are
replaced by wood - spoons, salt shakers, pepper
grinders. All the kids in the neighborhood will have
Magic Wands. Every female you know with long
hair will have at least two nicely turned rosewood
or maple or cherry hair sticks. Every drawer
and door pull in your home will be replaced with
unique ones you've turned.

Sealed paper bags will begin to fill the sets of
shelves you built for turning books. Buckets,
pails, pots and pans will fill corners and drivewa
space - filled with a mysterious orange or greenish
liquid - something lurking just below the surface.

Every plant on your property will be surrounded
by fresh "mulch".

The cut offs you use to throw away or burn will
now be sorted by type and filed away in boxes
for some future project - a segmented bowl
perhaps.
You're wife will keep a picture of you "from before"
next to the back door so she'll know if it's you or
an intruder coming through it.

You'll start soaking chips from aromatic turnings
in alcohol and using it as cologne.

Jars and cans of witches brew - boiled linseed
oil / bees wax / varnish, 6 pound cut garnet
shellac, carnuba, candelia wax, lemon and walnut
oil, eye of newt, toe of frog . . . To be - or not
to be. What was the question again?

You won't have to worry about dandruf - "oh that's
just sawdust."

At some point you'll evolve into a Rotationiste, wear
a poncho, frayed khaki shorts, clogs and an ebony eye
patch. That's when an agent will find you. You'll develop
a taste for brie and fruity wines. Terms like "negative
space", "juxtaposition" and "asymetry" will work
their way into your everyday vocabulary. Before
you know it, turning will actually pay for itself.
Beware, however, for it can become a JOB!

THAT'S WHEN YOU TAKE UP PAINTING OR NEEDLE POINT.

Welcome to Turners Anonymous Bob. The coffee
and donuts are over there.

charlie b