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OT. Deep doo-doo
SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine.
It is in the back of the van and she asks me to help her drag it into the house. The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it. It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" 0¿0 Rob--- who sometimes speaks before he thinks. |
CLIP
The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it. It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" I've been playing with the idea of an exercise bike that powers the TV.... -- Regards, Joe Agro, Jr. http://www.autodrill.com http://www.multi-drill.com V8013 Know someone with a motorcycle in the NY Metro area? http://host.mynocdns.com/mailman/lis...rides_yunx.com |
Robatoy wrote:
The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it. It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" Rob--- who sometimes speaks before he thinks. Urf. You didn't. Dumbass. You were only supposed to *think* that, not say it out loud. :) -- Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621 http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/ http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/ |
That merits the biggest, loudest, hardest slap on the forehead and D'OH, I
have heard in a loooonngggg time. SteveP. Who is very glad to not be Robatoy for the next 3 weeks "Silvan" wrote in message ... Robatoy wrote: The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it. It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" Rob--- who sometimes speaks before he thinks. Urf. You didn't. Dumbass. You were only supposed to *think* that, not say it out loud. :) -- Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621 http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/ http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/ |
Robatoy wrote:
SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine. It is in the back of the van and she asks me to help her drag it into the house. The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it. It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" 0¿0 Rob--- who sometimes speaks before he thinks. ALWAYS engage brain BEFORE operating mouth. There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make my butt look big?" so find a florist and see if you can get some kind of quantity discount or a discount card like Barnes and Noble have. Try and vary the number, color and types of flowers you get for any one occassion. This will postpone the inevitable jump up to jewelry. Jewelers know that you know flowers aren't going to work anymore and that they've got you by the short curlies. If you look carefully over the inside door frame you will see "Give up all hope, ye who pass through this portal". It's there - look for it. charlie b ( a former spouse AND a jeweler on the side) ps "Well, you don't sweat much for a fat broad." IS NOT, repeat IS NOT going to be taken as a compliment even if you sincerely meant it as a compliment. At least that's what one of my former co-workers told me. |
Robatoy wrote:
"Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" Or you could have said, "Do you want me to take this straight up to the attic/basement (place where unused things are stored at your house)? UA100 |
Robatoy wrote:
SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine. It is in the back of the van and she asks me to help her drag it into the house. The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it. It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" 0¿0 Rob--- who sometimes speaks before he thinks. A few years back SWMBO and I were watching TV and Sophia Loren appeared. SWMBO remarked, "I wish I could look like that when I'm in my 60's. Without thinking I answered, "I wish you looked like that now." What a blunder!!! Glen |
charlie b wrote:
SNIP There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make my butt look big?" SNIP But the wrong answer is, "It's not the pants that make you look fat, it's the Krispy Kremes and the Hagen Daze that make you look fat. ;-) Glen |
Robatoy wrote:
It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" Somebodys gettin' 'nuttin for a looong time! Barry |
Unisaw A100 wrote:
Robatoy wrote: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" Or you could have said, "Do you want me to take this straight up to the attic/basement (place where unused things are stored at your house)? Which also brings up the following question: "How many items of clothing can it hold?" Barry |
"Glen" wrote in message ink.net... charlie b wrote: SNIP There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make my butt look big?" SNIP But the wrong answer is, "It's not the pants that make you look fat, it's the Krispy Kremes and the Hagen Daze that make you look fat. ;-) Glen Nor is the correct response "The pants don't make you ass look big, your ass makes your ass look big." DAMHIKT... Rob |
In article ,
B a r r y wrote: Robatoy wrote: It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" Somebodys gettin' 'nuttin for a looong time! Barry Let's put it this way.... when I put my arm around her last night... the furnace kicked in...brrrrrrrrr It wasn't that cold OUTside... 0¿0 Rob----who has weathered storms before. Last biggie was when I offered my opinion on women's equality (when some of her friends were over). I said something like: "of course I believe in equality, women should be able to pull themselves up to our level, but not drag us down to theirs." I actually saw a couple of them morph from their usually feminine selves to corduroy-wearing, brush-cut, truckerwallet-carrying, comfortable-shoe-wearing, snarling, raging dogs. I then tried to sell the whole thing as a joke...... with minimal success. Oh well... The line: "You can't cut me off, because you don't know where I'm getting it." may not be the best idea at this point. |
On Wed, 02 Mar 2005 11:20:25 GMT, Glen wrote:
A few years back SWMBO and I were watching TV and Sophia Loren appeared. SWMBO remarked, "I wish I could look like that when I'm in my 60's. Without thinking I answered, "I wish you looked like that now." What a blunder!!! Glen OMG! You didn't! I'd be in the doghouse for weeks if I said that. Obviously she let you live, but how long did you have to sleep on the couch? |
In article , Robatoy wrote:
The line: "You can't cut me off, because you don't know where I'm getting it." may not be the best idea at this point. Two words: Lorena Bobbitt. -- Regards, Doug Miller (alphageek at milmac dot com) Nobody ever left footprints in the sands of time by sitting on his butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time? |
On Wed, 02 Mar 2005 13:05:54 GMT, B a r r y
wrote: Unisaw A100 wrote: Robatoy wrote: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" Or you could have said, "Do you want me to take this straight up to the attic/basement (place where unused things are stored at your house)? Which also brings up the following question: "How many items of clothing can it hold?" Barry This is very true. A friend of mine bought one of those excercise stations for weight lifting. He and his SWMBO were going to get themselves in shape. Some weeks later I saw the machine again, only this time it's covered with laundry. And not just a few shirts, it looked like the whole wardrobe. |
I assume this is your first wife.....
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On Tue, 01 Mar 2005 22:49:06 -0500, Silvan wrote:
Robatoy wrote: The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it. It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" Rob--- who sometimes speaks before he thinks. Urf. You didn't. Dumbass. You were only supposed to *think* that, not say it out loud. :) As in "Wups, was that out loud?" |
On Tue, 01 Mar 2005 23:22:37 -0800, charlie b wrote:
Robatoy wrote: SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine. It is in the back of the van and she asks me to help her drag it into the house. The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it. It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" 0¿0 Rob--- who sometimes speaks before he thinks. ALWAYS engage brain BEFORE operating mouth. There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make my butt look big?" So, "No, but your butt makes those pants look big" would be a bad answer there? Just checking. any one occassion. This will postpone the inevitable jump up to jewelry. Jewelers know that you know flowers aren't going to work anymore and that they've got you by the short curlies. If you look carefully over the inside door frame you will see "Give up all hope, ye who pass through this portal". It's there - look for it. Is that next to the sign that says "Diamonds...she'll pretty much have to..."? ps "Well, you don't sweat much for a fat broad." IS NOT, repeat IS NOT going to be taken as a compliment even if you sincerely meant it as a compliment. At least that's what one of my former co-workers told me. Next someone is going to tell me that, when asked for a professional referance, it's not acceptable to say "Well, for someone who smells as bad as he does, he didn't steal as much as we thought he would"? |
On Tue, 01 Mar 2005 23:22:37 -0800, charlie b
wrote: There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make my butt look big?" "Not so long as shoving fifty pounds of ass into a ten pound bag is the look you're going for." Thomas J. Watson - WoodDorker tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email) http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1 (webpage) |
Unisaw A100 wrote:
Robatoy wrote: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" Or you could have said, "Do you want me to take this straight up to the attic/basement (place where unused things are stored at your house)? UA100 SWMBO's recent visit to the doctor. "......and have you been exercising??" "Well, I have a treadmill." "Owning one doesn't count!" |
On Tue, 01 Mar 2005 23:22:37 -0800, charlie b
wrote: There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make my butt look big?" so find a florist and see if you can get some kind of quantity discount or a discount card like Barnes and Noble have. Try and vary the number, color and types of flowers you get for any one occassion. This will postpone the inevitable jump up to jewelry. Jewelers know that you know flowers aren't going to work anymore and that they've got you by the short curlies. If you look carefully over the inside door frame you will see "Give up all hope, ye who pass through this portal". It's there - look for it. Some of the GEICO snippet commercials are pretty good. The most hilarious one yet starts with a guy engrossed in the newspaper over breakfast. His wife comes out of the bedroom straightening her dress and asks, "does this dress make me look fat?" Guy, concentrating on his paper, says, "you betcha." Wife, gives THE LOOK, and turns sharply back into the bedroom as the guy sort of comes to the realization that he should have paid more attention while the announcer in voiceover says, "in less time than it takes to get out the sleeper sofa..." - - LRod Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999 http://www.woodbutcher.net |
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Robatoy wrote: SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine. It is in the back of the van and she asks me to help her drag it into the house. The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it. It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" 0=BF0 Rob--- who sometimes speaks before he thinks. After being married I began to gain some weight. One day while watching TV SWMBO remarked on that, saying, "Your belly is getting to be as big as my ass." I rolled my eyes and exclaimed. "Oh my God, it's THAT big?" I'm divorced now. --=20 FF |
"Robatoy" wrote in message ... SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine. How was the couch last nite? |
In article ,
LL wrote: On Wed, 02 Mar 2005 11:20:25 GMT, Glen wrote: A few years back SWMBO and I were watching TV and Sophia Loren appeared. SWMBO remarked, "I wish I could look like that when I'm in my 60's. Without thinking I answered, "I wish you looked like that now." What a blunder!!! Glen OMG! You didn't! I'd be in the doghouse for weeks if I said that. Obviously she let you live, but how long did you have to sleep on the couch? Rumor mill has it that it was more than a *month* before she let him back _into_ the house as far as the couch. |
"Rob Walters" wrote in message ... "Glen" wrote in message ink.net... charlie b wrote: SNIP There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make my butt look big?" SNIP But the wrong answer is, "It's not the pants that make you look fat, it's the Krispy Kremes and the Hagen Daze that make you look fat. ;-) Glen Nor is the correct response "The pants don't make you ass look big, your ass makes your ass look big." NO NO NO The pants don't make your ass look big, it's your HUGE ass that make those pants look SMALL :-) William.... DAMHIKT... Rob |
On Thu, 03 Mar 2005 06:23:59 GMT, "William"
wrote: NO NO NO The pants don't make your ass look big, it's your HUGE ass that make those pants look SMALL :-) William.... You're not married or in a long term relationship are you.......... Get to know Rosie Palm and her five sisters. You're going to need her. |
years ago swimbo and myself took a vacation with her parents to san
deigo while walking on the beach theses two asome looking girls in thong bikinis walk by of course I looked swimbo gets upset and tells me your looking at other girls while your with me so I said if god didnt want me to look at them he would have made them ugly. to which she replys is that why you dont look at me that way and yes were divorced now opps jim A MAN WITH THE RIGHT TOOLS CAN SURE SCREW THINGS UP |
When I was still dating my wife, she caught me looking at a bikini-clad
girl on a riding lawn mower. When she said "You're not supposed to look at that.", I countered with "Hey babe, just 'cause I'm on a diet, don't mean I can't look at the menu." I'm still lookin', and she ain't complaining. Eat your hearts out. Joe JAMES Mankin wrote: years ago swimbo and myself took a vacation with her parents to san deigo while walking on the beach theses two asome looking girls in thong bikinis walk by of course I looked swimbo gets upset and tells me your looking at other girls while your with me so I said if god didnt want me to look at them he would have made them ugly. to which she replys is that why you dont look at me that way and yes were divorced now opps jim A MAN WITH THE RIGHT TOOLS CAN SURE SCREW THINGS UP |
On Thu, 03 Mar 2005 21:34:59 GMT, Joe_Stein
wrote: When I was still dating my wife, she caught me looking at a bikini-clad girl on a riding lawn mower. When she said "You're not supposed to look at that.", I countered with "Hey babe, just 'cause I'm on a diet, don't mean I can't look at the menu." I'm still lookin', and she ain't complaining. Eat your hearts out. Joe A married woman might have said: "I don't care where you get your appetite, so long as you eat at home." Thomas J. Watson - WoodDorker tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email) http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1 (webpage) |
"Glen" wrote in message ink.net... Robatoy wrote: SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine. It is in the back of the van and she asks me to help her drag it into the house. The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it. It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?" 0¿0 Rob--- who sometimes speaks before he thinks. A few years back SWMBO and I were watching TV and Sophia Loren appeared. SWMBO remarked, "I wish I could look like that when I'm in my 60's. Without thinking I answered, "I wish you looked like that now." What a blunder!!! Glen How long did you sleep alone for that one? V |
In article ,
"Mike Marlow" wrote: The best one I ever heard was "Why should I go out and eat hamburg when I can have steak at home?". Paul Newman said that. That's easy to say when you're married to Joanne Woodward... who still looks great. |
Glen wrote:
A few years back SWMBO and I were watching TV and Sophia Loren appeared. SWMBO remarked, "I wish I could look like that when I'm in my 60's. Without thinking I answered, "I wish you looked like that now." Ouuuuuuuuuuuuch. -- Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621 http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/ http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/ |
LL wrote:
This is very true. A friend of mine bought one of those excercise stations for weight lifting. He and his SWMBO were going to get themselves in shape. Some weeks later I saw the machine again, only this time it's covered with laundry. And not just a few shirts, it looked like the whole wardrobe. Yup, very very true. Mom has one of those big multi-station all-in-one weight things. It's a coat rack, a hat rack, and a drying rack all in one. By the time you get done moving everything off of it to exercise, you've already gotten enough exercise, so it seems kind of pointless. -- Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621 http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/ http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/ |
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