An elderly couple is enjoying a 50 year anniversary dinner together in a
small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember
the first time we had sex together over fifty years a go? We went behind
this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you."

"Yes," she says, "I remember it well."

"Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll round there again and we can
do it for old time's sake."

"Oooooooh Charlie, you devil, that sounds like a good idea."

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all
this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these
two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them
so there's no trouble." So he follows them. They walk haltingly along,
leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they
get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old
lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his
trousers. She turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man
moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching
policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like
eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes.

She's yelling, "Ohhh, God!" He's hanging on to her hips for dear life.
This is the most athletic sex imaginable. Finally, they both collapse
panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned
something about life that he didn't know. After about half an hour of
lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet
and put their clothes back on. The Policeman, still watching thinks,
that was truly amazing, he was going like a train. I've got to ask him
what his secret is.

As the couple passes, he says to them, "That was something else. You
must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it?
You must have had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

Great!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!

jo4hn wrote:

An elderly couple is enjoying a 50 year anniversary dinner together in a
small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember
the first time we had sex together over fifty years a go? We went behind
this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you."

"Yes," she says, "I remember it well."

"Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll round there again and we can
do it for old time's sake."

"Oooooooh Charlie, you devil, that sounds like a good idea."

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all
this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these
two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them
so there's no trouble." So he follows them. They walk haltingly along,
leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they
get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old
lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his
trousers. She turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man
moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching
policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like
eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes.

She's yelling, "Ohhh, God!" He's hanging on to her hips for dear life.
This is the most athletic sex imaginable. Finally, they both collapse
panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned
something about life that he didn't know. After about half an hour of
lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet
and put their clothes back on. The Policeman, still watching thinks,
that was truly amazing, he was going like a train. I've got to ask him
what his secret is.

As the couple passes, he says to them, "That was something else. You
must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it?
You must have had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

Awesome. I'll be using that one tomorrow...

Paul

"Mark L." wrote in message
m...
Great!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!

jo4hn wrote:

An elderly couple is enjoying a 50 year anniversary dinner together in a
small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember
the first time we had sex together over fifty years a go? We went behind
this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you."

"Yes," she says, "I remember it well."

"Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll round there again and we can
do it for old time's sake."

"Oooooooh Charlie, you devil, that sounds like a good idea."

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all
this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these
two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them
so there's no trouble." So he follows them. They walk haltingly along,
leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they
get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old
lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his
trousers. She turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man
moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching
policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like
eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes.

She's yelling, "Ohhh, God!" He's hanging on to her hips for dear life.
This is the most athletic sex imaginable. Finally, they both collapse
panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned
something about life that he didn't know. After about half an hour of
lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet
and put their clothes back on. The Policeman, still watching thinks,
that was truly amazing, he was going like a train. I've got to ask him
what his secret is.

As the couple passes, he says to them, "That was something else. You
must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it?
You must have had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of
secret?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

On Wed, 18 Aug 2004 03:09:17 +0000, Paul in MN wrote:

Awesome. I'll be using that one tomorrow...

The joke or the fence? ;^)

--
Joe Wells

"jo4hn" wrote in message
hlink.net...

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

Do you know what kind of voltage was in that fence?
I'd like to give a try!! :-)

"f/256" wrote in message
t.cable.rogers.com...

"jo4hn" wrote in message
hlink.net...

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

Do you know what kind of voltage was in that fence?
I'd like to give a try!! :-)

"Depends", says the old farm kid who was subjected to the indignation of
electric fences on numerous occasions. Most "fencers" (in my generation)
were set up sort of like an auto ignition. Had a set of points that would
hit every few seconds & send out a shot like a spark plug firing, the points
would "bounce" away from each other, then slowly return for the next hit.
Figure around 18-20KV hit. These were frequently powered(in remote
locations) by a "Hotshot" 6V battery, 4 of the old fashioned 1.5V dry cells
all in one case.

Another method, used by my Uncle, was to run a 115V hot lead through a 100W
light bulb, then to the electric fence. You could tell by looking @ the
light bulb in the barn how much grass & brush was leaning on the wire. When
it got too bright, it was time to go out & mow along the fence line.

Either way, makes for a good joke, but YOU try it, I'll pass.

--
Nahmie
The law of intelligent tinkering: save all the parts.

Got some polypropylene twine with stainless threads in it this year. Gives
the deer a visual to remind them of the shock the got last time they
touched. Had some asparagus shoot up while I wasn't looking, and blow into
the fence. Got hot enough to melt the white plastic, which leaves only the
wire strands, and looks like I've got gaps.

Bimetal contacts heat, discharge capacitor, repeat.

"Norman D. Crow" wrote in message
...
Most "fencers" (in my generation)
were set up sort of like an auto ignition. Had a set of points that would
hit every few seconds & send out a shot like a spark plug firing, the
points
would "bounce" away from each other, then slowly return for the next hit.
Figure around 18-20KV hit. These were frequently powered(in remote
locations) by a "Hotshot" 6V battery, 4 of the old fashioned 1.5V dry
cells
all in one case.

Another method, used by my Uncle, was to run a 115V hot lead through a
100W
light bulb, then to the electric fence. You could tell by looking @ the
light bulb in the barn how much grass & brush was leaning on the wire.
When
it got too bright, it was time to go out & mow along the fence line.

Either way, makes for a good joke, but YOU try it, I'll pass.

--
Nahmie
The law of intelligent tinkering: save all the parts.

On Wed, 18 Aug 2004 10:25:08 -0400, "Norman D. Crow"
calmly ranted:

"Depends", says the old farm kid who was subjected to the indignation of
electric fences on numerous occasions.

"Depends" are what you need after trying out an electric
fence that way? I thought so and was too smart to take
the dare every time.


Either way, makes for a good joke, but YOU try it, I'll pass.

Smart man, Nahmie.

---
Where ARE those Weapons of Mass Destruction, Mr. President?
----
http://diversify.com - Guaranteed Weaponless Website Design

Larry Jaques wrote:

On Wed, 18 Aug 2004 10:25:08 -0400, "Norman D. Crow"
calmly ranted:

"Depends", says the old farm kid who was subjected to the
indignation of electric fences on numerous occasions.

"Depends" are what you need after trying out an electric fence
that way? I thought so and was too smart to take the dare
every time.

Either way, makes for a good joke, but YOU try it, I'll
pass.

Some time back in Minnesota a neighbor asked for help putting up
his hay. Being a dumb computer geek who didn't know just how out
of condition I was, I said: "Sure."

By noon my hands were raw and my eyes were burning. We piled off
in the yard by the barn; and I found a nice shady spot and a
place where I could lean back to rest a bit while he zipped into
the house. A few minutes later his wife came out with a *big*
tray of tall iced teas - looked at me and started to laugh
almost hysterically. She almost dropped the tray and did manage
to spill a lot of the tea.

When she calmed down she asked (still giggling) how I was holding
up to farm work. Told her I was hot and sweaty but otherwise
doing ok, at which point she disolved into laughter again; but
this time everyone was laughing (except me, 'cause I didn't know
what was so incredibly funny). It was her husband who let me know
that the fence I was draped against was "hot".

I never even noticed.

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto, Iowa USA

"Morris Dovey" wrote in message
...
Larry Jaques wrote:

On Wed, 18 Aug 2004 10:25:08 -0400, "Norman D. Crow"
calmly ranted:

"Depends", says the old farm kid who was subjected to the
indignation of electric fences on numerous occasions.

"Depends" are what you need after trying out an electric fence
that way? I thought so and was too smart to take the dare
every time.

Either way, makes for a good joke, but YOU try it, I'll
pass.

Some time back in Minnesota a neighbor asked for help putting up
his hay. Being a dumb computer geek who didn't know just how out
of condition I was, I said: "Sure."

By noon my hands were raw and my eyes were burning. We piled off
in the yard by the barn; and I found a nice shady spot and a
place where I could lean back to rest a bit while he zipped into
the house. A few minutes later his wife came out with a *big*
tray of tall iced teas - looked at me and started to laugh
almost hysterically. She almost dropped the tray and did manage
to spill a lot of the tea.

When she calmed down she asked (still giggling) how I was holding
up to farm work. Told her I was hot and sweaty but otherwise
doing ok, at which point she disolved into laughter again; but
this time everyone was laughing (except me, 'cause I didn't know
what was so incredibly funny). It was her husband who let me know
that the fence I was draped against was "hot".

I never even noticed.
If you had on some good thick-soled sneakers or decent boots, they might
have done the insulation.

I can remember being around 10 yr. old, walking along thefence with my
Uncle, me being barefoot, him in rubber boots, and all of a sudden he'd grab
my hand with one of his, and the fence with his other hand. WOW! I do NOT
like electric shock. Of course, he would also check to see if the fence was
working by grabbing the wire in one hand and digging the fingers of his
other hand into the grass or dirt. Not me!

--
Nahmie
The law of intelligent tinkering: save all the parts.

On Wed, 18 Aug 2004 10:25:08 -0400, "Norman D. Crow"
wrote:




"f/256" wrote in message
et.cable.rogers.com...

"jo4hn" wrote in message
hlink.net...

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

Do you know what kind of voltage was in that fence?
I'd like to give a try!! :-)

"Depends", says the old farm kid who was subjected to the indignation of
electric fences on numerous occasions. Most "fencers" (in my generation)
were set up sort of like an auto ignition. Had a set of points that would
hit every few seconds & send out a shot like a spark plug firing, the points
would "bounce" away from each other, then slowly return for the next hit.
Figure around 18-20KV hit. These were frequently powered(in remote
locations) by a "Hotshot" 6V battery, 4 of the old fashioned 1.5V dry cells
all in one case.


My dad had the 110v International Weedchopper. Same kind of mechanism
but the battery never went dead. Because it was a mechanical point system
(I can still hear the thing clicking), the charge/discharge times were
really long -- especially if you were touching the fence. The long times
also caused problems with starting fires.

He later graduated to the electronic fencers -- shorter hot time so you
can let go now after only a few milliseconds of extreme charge and pain.
When home a week ago, I got to help Dad chase some cows in and help fix the
fence where they had gotten out. After over 15 year of not having done
that, I still had a hard time screwing up the courage to tough the electric
wire even though it was down (I was zapped way too many times by a "down"
electric fence)

Another method, used by my Uncle, was to run a 115V hot lead through a 100W
light bulb, then to the electric fence. You could tell by looking @ the
light bulb in the barn how much grass & brush was leaning on the wire. When
it got too bright, it was time to go out & mow along the fence line.

Either way, makes for a good joke, but YOU try it, I'll pass.

"jo4hn" wrote in message
hlink.net...

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

Do you know what kind of voltage was in that fence?
I'd like to give a try!! :-)