Wood theft
 

A Chinese woodworker recently opened his shop to discover that sometime
during the night a significant quantity of his rare wood blanks had been
stolen.

Looking for clues, he discovered a child's footprints in the floor's
sawdust. The woodcarver decided to lie in wait to capture the thief.

Sure enough, that night he heard a noise. The Chinese woodwork jumped from
his hiding place and flicked on the light.

Standing before him was a SEVEN-FOOT tall BEAR with itty-bitty feet!!!

Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you, boy-foot
bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

Wood theft
 

On 9/28/2011 4:24 PM, HeyBub wrote:
A Chinese woodworker recently opened his shop to discover that sometime
during the night a significant quantity of his rare wood blanks had been
stolen.

Looking for clues, he discovered a child's footprints in the floor's
sawdust. The woodcarver decided to lie in wait to capture the thief.

Sure enough, that night he heard a noise. The Chinese woodwork jumped from
his hiding place and flicked on the light.

Standing before him was a SEVEN-FOOT tall BEAR with itty-bitty feet!!!

Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you, boy-foot
bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

Don't quit your day job.

Wood theft
 

On Wed, 28 Sep 2011 15:24:57 -0500, "HeyBub"
wrote:

A Chinese woodworker recently opened his shop to discover that sometime
during the night a significant quantity of his rare wood blanks had been
stolen.

Looking for clues, he discovered a child's footprints in the floor's
sawdust. The woodcarver decided to lie in wait to capture the thief.

Sure enough, that night he heard a noise. The Chinese woodwork jumped from
his hiding place and flicked on the light.

Standing before him was a SEVEN-FOOT tall BEAR with itty-bitty feet!!!

Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you, boy-foot
bear with Teaks of Chan!!"


Groan...

Wood theft
 

Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you, boy-foot
bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

I guess I am dense. Can someone explain the reference. I am not
getting it. Something about a bare foot boy I presume.

Wood theft
 

On 9/30/2011 12:30 PM, SonomaProducts.com wrote:
Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you, boy-foot
bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

I guess I am dense. Can someone explain the reference. I am not
getting it. Something about a bare foot boy I presume.

English Lit I, Whittier

Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!

With thy turned-up pantaloons,
And thy merry whistled tunes;
....
etc., etc., ...

--

Wood theft
 

On 9/30/2011 1:09 PM, dpb wrote:
On 9/30/2011 12:30 PM, SonomaProducts.com wrote:
Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you,
boy-foot
bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

I guess I am dense. Can someone explain the reference. I am not
getting it. Something about a bare foot boy I presume.

English Lit I, Whittier
....

American english literature, that would be, not English ...

--

Wood theft
 

"dpb" wrote in message ...
On 9/30/2011 12:30 PM, SonomaProducts.com wrote:
Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you,
boy-foot
bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

I guess I am dense. Can someone explain the reference. I am not
getting it. Something about a bare foot boy I presume.

English Lit I, Whittier

Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!

With thy turned-up pantaloons,
And thy merry whistled tunes;
...
etc., etc., ...

I think I napped that class.

Wood theft
 

"SonomaProducts.com" wrote in message
...

Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you,
boy-foot
bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

I guess I am dense. Can someone explain the reference. I am not
getting it. Something about a bare foot boy I presume.
================================================== =====

You're not alone.

Wood theft
 

On 9/30/2011 4:27 PM, CW wrote:


"SonomaProducts.com" wrote in message
...

Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you,
boy-foot
bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

I guess I am dense. Can someone explain the reference. I am not
getting it. Something about a bare foot boy I presume.
================================================== =====

You're not alone.

It's a pun on the poem "The Barefoot Boy" by John Whittier, which starts
out,

"Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!"

The whole poem's pretty long, you can read it at
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174752

Wood theft
 

Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!

"If the foo ****s, wear it"
(circa ~1965)

-Zz

Wood theft
 

SonomaProducts.com wrote:
Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you,
boy-foot bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

I guess I am dense. Can someone explain the reference. I am not
getting it. Something about a bare foot boy I presume.

Ah, the curse of a liberal education. Recently a conservative penned a
novel, The Overton Window. The jacket blurb had this incantation:

"As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

"And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings* with terror and slaughter return!"

Or you can view the trailer he
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBoeHgy7svg

Without exception, a bevy of liberal bloggers and pundits screeched, hopped
up and down, and, with pointed fingers, exclaimed that this digestion was
evidence sufficient of a diseased and disgusting mind!

The blurb was not from the conservative author, but from a poem, The Gods of
the Copybook Headings, by Rudyard Kipling.

-------
* Copybook Headings. In English grammar schools, books were handed out with
pages mostly blank. These were "copybooks". Each page had at the top a pithy
saying, i.e., "A stitch in time saves nine," "A penny saved is a penny
earned," etc., written in a florid hand. It was the object of the exercise
for each student to copy the top-line quote, doing his best to match the
penmanship.

Wood theft
 

On 9/30/2011 5:27 PM, CW wrote:


"SonomaProducts.com" wrote in message
...

Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you,
boy-foot
bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

I guess I am dense. Can someone explain the reference. I am not
getting it. Something about a bare foot boy I presume.
================================================== =====

You're not alone.


That is really too bad for you and Ed. As I reach my twilight years, it
was certainly worth a re- read. It revels in the riches of youth; a
barefoot boy who is prince, seer, and learned sachem. Yeah, the lord
and master of his domain.

Not a bad groaner for a woodworking group either, as groaners go.

Wood theft
 

"DanG" wrote in message ...

On 9/30/2011 5:27 PM, CW wrote:


"SonomaProducts.com" wrote in message
...

Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you,
boy-foot
bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

I guess I am dense. Can someone explain the reference. I am not
getting it. Something about a bare foot boy I presume.
================================================== =====

You're not alone.


That is really too bad for you and Ed. As I reach my twilight years, it
was certainly worth a re- read. It revels in the riches of youth; a
barefoot boy who is prince, seer, and learned sachem. Yeah, the lord
and master of his domain.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After finding out what it was, I'm glad I missed it.

Wood theft
 

Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!

"If the foo ****s, wear it"
(circa ~1965)
--------------------------------------------
One of my all time favorites!

-- Jim in NC

Wood theft
 

In article ,
Morgans wrote:
Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!

I seem to remember Mr. Peabody explaining the ursine wood-thief to
Sherman.


"If the foo ****s, wear it"
(circa ~1965)
--------------------------------------------
One of my all time favorites!


"Abscess makes the fart go honda"

"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"

"That's the beer that made Mel Famey walk us"

"the squaw of the hippopotamus....."

"Little girls aren't as gullible as they used to be.'


Does anyone else remember the Rary bird?

Or the brothers that couldn't couldn't agree on name for their cattle
ranch?

Wood theft
 

On Sun, 02 Oct 2011 02:09:56 -0500,
(Robert Bonomi) wrote:

In article ,
Morgans wrote:
Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!

I seem to remember Mr. Peabody explaining the ursine wood-thief to
Sherman.


"If the foo ****s, wear it"
(circa ~1965)
--------------------------------------------
One of my all time favorites!


"Abscess makes the fart go honda"

"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"

"That's the beer that made Mel Famey walk us"

"the squaw of the hippopotamus....."

"Little girls aren't as gullible as they used to be.'


Does anyone else remember the Rary bird?

It's a long way to tip a Rarey.


Or the brothers that couldn't couldn't agree on name for their cattle
ranch?

No, but I daren't ask...

--
It takes as much energy to wish as to plan.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Wood theft
 

In article ,
Larry Jaques wrote:
On Sun, 02 Oct 2011 02:09:56 -0500,
(Robert Bonomi) wrote:

In article ,
Morgans wrote:
Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!

I seem to remember Mr. Peabody explaining the ursine wood-thief to
Sherman.


"If the foo ****s, wear it"
(circa ~1965)
--------------------------------------------
One of my all time favorites!


"Abscess makes the fart go honda"

"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"

"That's the beer that made Mel Famey walk us"

"the squaw of the hippopotamus....."

"Little girls aren't as gullible as they used to be.'


Does anyone else remember the Rary bird?

It's a long way to tip a Rarey.

And then he looks back over the lengthy distance it took the dump-truck
to get from the residence to the cliff and adds:

"It's a long way to home"

Or the brothers that couldn't couldn't agree on name for their cattle
ranch?

No, but I daren't ask...


That won't save you. grin

The brothers _finally_ agreed to abide by whatever their mother suggested.
When consulted, she opined that there one name that was a *prefectly* fit
for their ranch: "Focus".




enlightenment follows..





















"That's where the sons raise meat."


Purportedly the worlds only 'perfect' _triple_ pun.

Wood theft
 

On Sun, 02 Oct 2011 11:47:27 -0500,
(Robert Bonomi) wrote:

In article ,
Larry Jaques wrote:
On Sun, 02 Oct 2011 02:09:56 -0500,
(Robert Bonomi) wrote:

In article ,
Morgans wrote:
Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!

I seem to remember Mr. Peabody explaining the ursine wood-thief to
Sherman.


"If the foo ****s, wear it"
(circa ~1965)
--------------------------------------------
One of my all time favorites!


"Abscess makes the fart go honda"

"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"

"That's the beer that made Mel Famey walk us"

"the squaw of the hippopotamus....."

"Little girls aren't as gullible as they used to be.'


Does anyone else remember the Rary bird?

It's a long way to tip a Rarey.

And then he looks back over the lengthy distance it took the dump-truck
to get from the residence to the cliff and adds:

"It's a long way to home"

Or the brothers that couldn't couldn't agree on name for their cattle
ranch?

No, but I daren't ask...


That won't save you. grin

The brothers _finally_ agreed to abide by whatever their mother suggested.
When consulted, she opined that there one name that was a *prefectly* fit
for their ranch: "Focus".

enlightenment follows..

"That's where the sons raise meat."

Purportedly the worlds only 'perfect' _triple_ pun.

I'd never heard that joke, so it was still wasted on me. Was this the
entire joke?

--snip--
Three brothers started a cattle ranch out west. They were very
successfull, but could not agree what to call their ranch. They
finally agreed to wire their father back east and abide by his
decision. He replied at once they should call it "focus". They did so,
but now argued endlessly about why he had given them that name. They
sent him another wire to ask why that name. He replied, "Simple,
because focus is where the sun's rays meet (son's raise meat)."
--snip--

--
Worry is a misuse of imagination.
-- Dan Zadra

Wood theft
 

On Sep 28, 10:24*am, "HeyBub" wrote:
A Chinese woodworker recently opened his shop to discover that sometime
during the night a significant quantity of his rare wood blanks had been
stolen.

Looking for clues, he discovered a child's footprints in the floor's
sawdust. The woodcarver decided to lie in wait to capture the thief.

Sure enough, that night he heard a noise. The Chinese woodwork jumped from
his hiding place and flicked on the light.

Standing before him was a SEVEN-FOOT tall BEAR with itty-bitty feet!!!

Thinking quickly, the craftsman hollered: "Ah ha, I've caught you, boy-foot
bear with Teaks of Chan!!"

YOU ARE IN THE WRONG GROUP !!

Wood theft
 

English Lit I, Whittier

Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!

With thy turned-up pantaloons,
And thy merry whistled tunes;
...
etc., etc., ...

--

Well... once again admitting my ignorance has added to my knowledge.
Sounds like a cute poem. Majoring in enginnering it was a badge of
honor to never (legitimately) pass an English course (includin'
spellin'). Thank god for girlfriends. Became a bit more difficult when
I went back for a degree in marketing.