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Old March 29th 12, 08:38 PM posted to rec.crafts.woodturning
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Default How to get out of shopping with your wife

This from Mark Mandell's post to WoodCentral
Do not be drinking anything when reading what
follows

"After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like
most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. xxxxxxx,

Over the past six months, your husband has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints against
Mr. xxxxxxxxx are listed below and are documented
by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when
they weren't looking.

2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7:
Made a trail of juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3
in
Housewares. Get on it Right away!'

5. August 4:
Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers
he'd
invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding
department.

8. August 23:
When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
screamed,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4:
Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while
he
picked his nose.

10. September 10:
While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk
where
the antidepressants were kept.

11. October 3:
Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
'Mission
Impossible' theme.

12. October 6:
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by trying
on
different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled
'PICK ME!
PICK ME!'

14. October 21:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he dropped to the
floor in a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
AGAIN!'

And last, but not least.

15. October 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then
yelled very
loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

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Old April 2nd 12, 02:56 AM posted to rec.crafts.woodturning
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Default How to get out of shopping with your wife

While this is humorous it is a made up story.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp

On 3/29/2012 3:38 PM, charlie b wrote:
This from Mark Mandell's post to WoodCentral
Do not be drinking anything when reading what
follows

"After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like
most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

snip
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Old April 2nd 12, 06:18 AM posted to rec.crafts.woodturning
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Default How to get out of shopping with your wife

Geee...............Who would have thought that was made up!!!

:}



"asdfasdf" wrote in message ...

While this is humorous it is a made up story.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp

On 3/29/2012 3:38 PM, charlie b wrote:
This from Mark Mandell's post to WoodCentral
Do not be drinking anything when reading what
follows

"After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like
most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

snip
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Old April 3rd 12, 03:26 AM posted to rec.crafts.woodturning
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Default How to get out of shopping with your wife

On 4/2/2012 1:18 AM, geoff wrote:
Geee...............Who would have thought that was made up!!!

:}


Millions of people believe and propagate those chain letters.

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Old April 3rd 12, 05:15 AM posted to rec.crafts.woodturning
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Default How to get out of shopping with your wife

Says a lot for the intelligence of millions of people I guess.



"asdfasdf" wrote in message ...

On 4/2/2012 1:18 AM, geoff wrote:
Geee...............Who would have thought that was made up!!!

:}


Millions of people believe and propagate those chain letters.


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Old April 3rd 12, 01:50 PM posted to rec.crafts.woodturning
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Default How to get out of shopping with your wife

geoff wrote:
Says a lot for the intelligence of millions of people I guess.



"asdfasdf" wrote in message ...
On 4/2/2012 1:18 AM, geoff wrote:
Geee...............Who would have thought that was made up!!!

:}


Millions of people believe and propagate those chain letters.

And they are out there among us and they are voting!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old April 6th 12, 03:23 PM posted to rec.crafts.woodturning
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Default How to get out of shopping with your wife


Thanks Charlie for a good laugh from an innovative, competent woodturner
and always perceptive writer. I guess some of us are a subset of the
unwashed millions that vote and are simple enough to still enjoy a laugh
regardless of its origin.
Best Arch

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Old September 30th 12, 07:40 PM posted to rec.crafts.woodturning
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Default How to get out of shopping with your wife

It's a funny story that makes most people laugh. It's NOT a factual
news story. It's humor, nothing more, intended to at least bring a
smile to at least one person's face.

If you didn't smile or laugh while reading this STORY but looked for
FACTS and found the story NOT TRUE, you missed the intent. Lighten up.
Yes, the world has a lot of challenges to deal with. But there has to
be some room for smiles and laughter.
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Old September 30th 12, 08:19 PM posted to rec.crafts.woodturning
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Default How to get out of shopping with your wife

In article ,
charlie b wrote:

It's a funny story that makes most people laugh. It's NOT a factual
news story. It's humor, nothing more, intended to at least bring a
smile to at least one person's face.

If you didn't smile or laugh while reading this STORY but looked for
FACTS and found the story NOT TRUE, you missed the intent. Lighten up.
Yes, the world has a lot of challenges to deal with. But there has to
be some room for smiles and laughter.


What's the story? It doesn't show up here.
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Old October 2nd 12, 03:15 PM posted to rec.crafts.woodturning
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Posts: 114
Default How to get out of shopping with your wife

On Sun, 30 Sep 2012 15:19:47 -0400, Dan Kozar
wrote:


What's the story? It doesn't show up here.


Charlie originally posted it on 30th March, received here at
3.38am, so it would have been 29th March for you. If you want to
read it, Charlie can re-post or I will send a copy.

Alan change .oz in address to .au to reply


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