How to get out of shopping with your wife
 

This from Mark Mandell's post to WoodCentral
Do not be drinking anything when reading what
follows

"After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like
most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. xxxxxxx,

Over the past six months, your husband has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints against
Mr. xxxxxxxxx are listed below and are documented
by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when
they weren't looking.

2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7:
Made a trail of juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3
in
Housewares. Get on it Right away!'

5. August 4:
Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers
he'd
invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding
department.

8. August 23:
When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
screamed,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4:
Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while
he
picked his nose.

10. September 10:
While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk
where
the antidepressants were kept.

11. October 3:
Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
'Mission
Impossible' theme.

12. October 6:
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by trying
on
different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled
'PICK ME!
PICK ME!'

14. October 21:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he dropped to the
floor in a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
AGAIN!'

And last, but not least.

15. October 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then
yelled very
loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

How to get out of shopping with your wife
 

While this is humorous it is a made up story.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp

On 3/29/2012 3:38 PM, charlie b wrote:
This from Mark Mandell's post to WoodCentral
Do not be drinking anything when reading what
follows

"After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like
most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
following letter from the local Wal-Mart.
snip

How to get out of shopping with your wife
 

Geee...............Who would have thought that was made up!!!

:}



"asdfasdf" wrote in message ...

While this is humorous it is a made up story.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp

On 3/29/2012 3:38 PM, charlie b wrote:
This from Mark Mandell's post to WoodCentral
Do not be drinking anything when reading what
follows

"After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like
most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
following letter from the local Wal-Mart.
snip

How to get out of shopping with your wife
 

On 4/2/2012 1:18 AM, geoff wrote:
Geee...............Who would have thought that was made up!!!

:}

Millions of people believe and propagate those chain letters.

How to get out of shopping with your wife
 

Says a lot for the intelligence of millions of people I guess.



"asdfasdf" wrote in message ...

On 4/2/2012 1:18 AM, geoff wrote:
Geee...............Who would have thought that was made up!!!

:}

Millions of people believe and propagate those chain letters.

How to get out of shopping with your wife
 

geoff wrote:
Says a lot for the intelligence of millions of people I guess.



"asdfasdf" wrote in message ...
On 4/2/2012 1:18 AM, geoff wrote:
Geee...............Who would have thought that was made up!!!

:}

Millions of people believe and propagate those chain letters.
And they are out there among us and they are voting!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How to get out of shopping with your wife
 

Thanks Charlie for a good laugh from an innovative, competent woodturner
and always perceptive writer. I guess some of us are a subset of the
unwashed millions that vote and are simple enough to still enjoy a laugh
regardless of its origin.
Best Arch

How to get out of shopping with your wife
 

It's a funny story that makes most people laugh. It's NOT a factual
news story. It's humor, nothing more, intended to at least bring a
smile to at least one person's face.

If you didn't smile or laugh while reading this STORY but looked for
FACTS and found the story NOT TRUE, you missed the intent. Lighten up.
Yes, the world has a lot of challenges to deal with. But there has to
be some room for smiles and laughter.

How to get out of shopping with your wife
 

In article ,
charlie b wrote:

It's a funny story that makes most people laugh. It's NOT a factual
news story. It's humor, nothing more, intended to at least bring a
smile to at least one person's face.

If you didn't smile or laugh while reading this STORY but looked for
FACTS and found the story NOT TRUE, you missed the intent. Lighten up.
Yes, the world has a lot of challenges to deal with. But there has to
be some room for smiles and laughter.

What's the story? It doesn't show up here.

How to get out of shopping with your wife
 

On Sun, 30 Sep 2012 15:19:47 -0400, Dan Kozar
wrote:


What's the story? It doesn't show up here.

Charlie originally posted it on 30th March, received here at
3.38am, so it would have been 29th March for you. If you want to
read it, Charlie can re-post or I will send a copy.

Alan change .oz in address to .au to reply

How to get out of shopping with your wife
 

In article ,
wrote:

On Sun, 30 Sep 2012 15:19:47 -0400, Dan Kozar
wrote:


What's the story? It doesn't show up here.

Charlie originally posted it on 30th March, received here at
3.38am, so it would have been 29th March for you. If you want to
read it, Charlie can re-post or I will send a copy.

Alan change .oz in address to .au to reply

Alan,

Thanks for the reply. If it was back in March I already saw it. I
thought it was something new. Sometimes all posts don't show up.

How to get out of shopping with your wife
 

This story is a somewhat long joke - nothing more.

If you choose to think it's a serious account of an actual event, you
may be taking EVERYTHING way too seriously. It's good to be skeptical,
especially around Campaign Season, when things are presented as "facts"
- that often ARE NOT - and intended to persuade rather than inform you,
or worse, deceive you.

It's just a funny story, intended to make you smile or even laugh out
loud.