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Default My Usenet literary efforts from 24 years ago :-)


In article ,
writes...
Hi,
Would you please tell me what transistor do and how to do
so? What is the difference between PNP transistor and NPN
transistor? What is the concept of using a transistor as a
switch? Thanks a lot.


SemiConductor Theory
--------------------
(c) 1997 by Gareth Alun Evans

A transistor is rather like the human alimentary canal, after the
typical USA diet of burgers and chips; - it constipates, as do
semiconductor diodes with no applied bias - the available holes get
filled in and nothing can move.
The base current is like a small application of laxative; some of
the constipation passes through, until the effect of the laxative wears
off. The total throughput depends upon the Mobility. By applying a
continuous feed of laxative, then a continuous current passes through.
Applying too much laxative results in saturation - ie, there is a limit
to the maximum throughput, depending on the external circuit; in this
case, the maximum rate at which you can feed in the burgers at one end.
(If you are a customer of MacDonalds's, here in Chippenham, Wiltshire,
UK then this rate is very low - I have been there twice, and both times,
the service was *APPALLING*.)
The difference between PNP and NPN is the direction. In the old
days, PNP was used, whereby one injected from the rear end, using a sort
of huge syringe - hence PNP - "Put-in Near Poo". More recently NPN is
more common, where the laxative is entered via a carrier of some sort,
usually chocolate and so we have NPN - "Now Pleasant Nutrient".
Despite the adverse effects, the USA diet of burgers and chips
carries on, and recourse has to be made once again to the chocolate. Now
the ratio of the carriers of the constipation, the burgers and chips, is
much higher than that of the chocolate. Thus they are referred to as the
Majority Carriers and the Minority Carriers. If you indulge too much,
you find that the vendor will provide you with a paper bag, known as an
Excess Carrier.
More recently, there are problems with impurities and you find that
the opposite effect occurs. You have no time to reach home before
diarrhoea takes over. You have no option but to stop the car and nip
over a gate into a field. Hence the Field Effect Transistor. This time
you have to inject something to STOP the flow. Now, assuming that there
was a certain control over events; nothing happened until the Gate was
encountered, you then became the Source of flow, and the field itself
acted as the Drain. What was originally dirt, became grass, was consumed
by the Cow, you ate it as a burger, and it has now returned to the
topsoil, an effect known in the trade as Surface Recombination.
(Incidentally, did you know that Diarrhoea is hereditary? Apparently it
runs in the jeans.)
Some of the impurities accumulate in your rear end, and no matter how
valiently you try, you cannot rid yourself of them. Hence In-de-Bum is
known as a Try-Valient Impurity. In the same way, Arse-nic, well known
for its ill-effects and accumulation in the body tissues is known as a
Pent-Up-Valient Impurity.

--
73's etc de Gareth G4SDW (nee G8DXY) GQRP 3339

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Alimentary Fourier Anal-ysis
----------------------------
(C) Copyright 1997 Gareth Alun Evans G4SDW

The Fourier Transform is rather like the Human Alimentary canal....

The Alimentary Canal takes food, and then transforms it into
something that is a function of the rear end, and hence may
be referred to as, "The Food-Rear Transform".

The Fourier Transform causes integration over a one second
period, and results in an infinite series of sines.
The Food-Rear Transform causes disintegration over a 12-hour
period, and results in an infinite series of signs...."Gents",
"Ladies", "Rest Room", etc. etc.

The Fourier Transform (Tukey's reasoning?) takes Time and
transforms it to a frequency spectrum.
The Food-Rear Transform takes Parsley, Sage and Thyme (Turkey's
seasoning?) and transforms it to a frequently active rectum.

"Laplace", literally, "The Place", is how you deal with
the transform.
"Walsh" is something you do to your hands afterwards.
"JPeg" is what you hang your jacket on to. It is a form of
compression such that you take up less space and spend less time
there (although the output may be more granular).

The Fast Fourier Transform must be done through an appropriate
window, otherwise an effect known as the "Picket Fence" problem,
also known as "Spectral Leakage", can occur.
Diarrhoea is known as the FAST Food-Rear Transform, and if done
through the wrong window can result in a problem (also known
as Rectal Leakage) all over the Picket Fence.

The Picket Fence problem is also known as, "Scalloping",
something which is normally done to pie crusts. In the old
days, pies used to be made with "Four And Twenty Blackbirds";
but nowadays, members of the Jay family are used. When you go to
someone's house for tea, you politely eat everything that is
put in front of you, but your reaction might be,
"Eat the Jay (Oh my God!) Tea???".
Similarly, the Fourier Transform is a great consumer
of e^(jwT)... "E to the j, omega, t".

The Fast Fourier Transform is famous for its Butterflies.
The Fast Food-Rear Transform is famous for its
Butterflies-in-the-stomach.

Dirichlet's are the Fourier Transform's conditions, without which
the result is divergent.
Diarrhoea ****s are the Food-Rear's conditions, with which the
result is VERY divergent.

Having experienced the Fast Fourier Transform, you are then faced
with the Inverse, which can be very daunting. It is a paper
exercise but it can be quite messy.
Having experienced the Fast Food-Rear Transform, you are then
faced with the "In Verde", literally "In The Grass", which can be
very daunting indeed. (The paper exercise can be quite messy.)


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