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UK diy (uk.diy) For the discussion of all topics related to diy (doityourself) in the UK. All levels of experience and proficency are welcome to join in to ask questions or offer solutions. 
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My Usenet literary efforts from 24 years ago :)
Alimentary Fourier Analysis
 (C) Copyright 1997 Gareth Alun Evans G4SDW The Fourier Transform is rather like the Human Alimentary canal.... The Alimentary Canal takes food, and then transforms it into something that is a function of the rear end, and hence may be referred to as, "The FoodRear Transform". The Fourier Transform causes integration over a one second period, and results in an infinite series of sines. The FoodRear Transform causes disintegration over a 12hour period, and results in an infinite series of signs...."Gents", "Ladies", "Rest Room", etc. etc. The Fourier Transform (Tukey's reasoning?) takes Time and transforms it to a frequency spectrum. The FoodRear Transform takes Parsley, Sage and Thyme (Turkey's seasoning?) and transforms it to a frequently active rectum. "Laplace", literally, "The Place", is how you deal with the transform. "Walsh" is something you do to your hands afterwards. "JPeg" is what you hang your jacket on to. It is a form of compression such that you take up less space and spend less time there (although the output may be more granular). The Fast Fourier Transform must be done through an appropriate window, otherwise an effect known as the "Picket Fence" problem, also known as "Spectral Leakage", can occur. Diarrhoea is known as the FAST FoodRear Transform, and if done through the wrong window can result in a problem (also known as Rectal Leakage) all over the Picket Fence. The Picket Fence problem is also known as, "Scalloping", something which is normally done to pie crusts. In the old days, pies used to be made with "Four And Twenty Blackbirds"; but nowadays, members of the Jay family are used. When you go to someone's house for tea, you politely eat everything that is put in front of you, but your reaction might be, "Eat the Jay (Oh my God!) Tea???". Similarly, the Fourier Transform is a great consumer of e^(jwT)... "E to the j, omega, t". The Fast Fourier Transform is famous for its Butterflies. The Fast FoodRear Transform is famous for its Butterfliesinthestomach. Dirichlet's are the Fourier Transform's conditions, without which the result is divergent. Diarrhoea ****s are the FoodRear's conditions, with which the result is VERY divergent. Having experienced the Fast Fourier Transform, you are then faced with the Inverse, which can be very daunting. It is a paper exercise but it can be quite messy. Having experienced the Fast FoodRear Transform, you are then faced with the "In Verde", literally "In The Grass", which can be very daunting indeed. (The paper exercise can be quite messy.) 
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