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| UK diy (uk.d-i-y) For the discussion of all topics related to diy (do-it-yourself) in the UK. All levels of experience and proficency are welcome to join in to ask questions or offer solutions. |
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#1
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Aldi DIY this week
I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials:
https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 And offer you this: Table vice, table vice, Every morning you grip me Small and light Clean and tight You look happy to squeeze me Acme of clutch May you fasten and crush Fasten and crush forever Table vice, table vice, Hold my work-piece forever With sincere apologies. |
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#2
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Aldi DIY this week
On Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:15:32 UTC, polygonum_on_google wrote:
I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials: https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice Through summers heat and winters chill You will hold the workpiece still O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage That faith and hope shall ever bloom Sawdust swept clear with a soft broom You bear a joyful message O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage Or as it's Aldi O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett Durch Sommerhitze und Winterkälte Sie halten das Werkstück ruhig O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Dieser Glaube und Hoffnung immer blühen Sägemehl klärte sich mit weichen Besen Du trägst eine freudige Botschaft O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Owain |
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#3
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Aldi DIY this week
On Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:42:01 UTC, wrote:
O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett Durch Sommerhitze und Winterkälte Sie halten das Werkstück ruhig O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett Just realised that Tischschraubstock would also scan Owain |
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#4
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Aldi DIY this week
On Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:42:01 UTC, wrote:
On Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:15:32 UTC, polygonum_on_google wrote: I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials: https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice Through summers heat and winters chill You will hold the workpiece still O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage That faith and hope shall ever bloom Sawdust swept clear with a soft broom You bear a joyful message O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage Or as it's Aldi O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett Durch Sommerhitze und Winterkälte Sie halten das Werkstück ruhig O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Dieser Glaube und Hoffnung immer blühen Sägemehl klärte sich mit weichen Besen Du trägst eine freudige Botschaft O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Owain Sehr gut, danke. (I was prompted to ask if I wanted "Translate message into English". :-) ) |
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#6
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
Why does everyone send up The Sound of music by writing alternative lyrics.
I always recall a song that we used to sing, though the lyrics are long forgotten, but. The hills have arrived with a pound of moose meat.... Brian -- ----- -- This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from... The Sofa of Brian Gaff... Blind user, so no pictures please Note this Signature is meaningless.! wrote in message ... On Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:15:32 UTC, polygonum_on_google wrote: I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials: https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice Through summer's heat and winter's chill You will hold the workpiece still O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage That faith and hope shall ever bloom Sawdust swept clear with a soft broom You bear a joyful message O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage Or as it's Aldi O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett Durch Sommerhitze und Winterkälte Sie halten das Werkstück ruhig O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Dieser Glaube und Hoffnung immer blühen Sägemehl klärte sich mit weichen Besen Du trägst eine freudige Botschaft O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Owain |
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#7
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
Oh dear...
Unfortunately having just listened to an after the watershed program on bbc sounds, I immediately thought table vice was the at of having sex on a table. Terribly corrupting these bbc local radio shows. Brian -- ----- -- This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from... The Sofa of Brian Gaff... Blind user, so no pictures please Note this Signature is meaningless.! "polygonum_on_google" wrote in message ... On Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:42:01 UTC, wrote: On Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:15:32 UTC, polygonum_on_google wrote: I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials: https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice Through summer's heat and winter's chill You will hold the workpiece still O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage That faith and hope shall ever bloom Sawdust swept clear with a soft broom You bear a joyful message O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage Or as it's Aldi O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett Durch Sommerhitze und Winterkälte Sie halten das Werkstück ruhig O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Dieser Glaube und Hoffnung immer blühen Sägemehl klärte sich mit weichen Besen Du trägst eine freudige Botschaft O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Owain Sehr gut, danke. (I was prompted to ask if I wanted "Translate message into English". :-) ) |
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#8
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
On Thursday, 23 January 2020 20:10:13 UTC, Brian Gaff (Sofa 2) wrote:
Why does everyone send up The Sound of music by writing alternative lyrics. I always recall a song that we used to sing, though the lyrics are long forgotten, but. The hills have arrived with a pound of moose meat.... Brian For a very simple reason - as soon as I read the words "Table Vice" my brain put them to the tune of Edelweiss. Curiously, I find there is a disconnect between that song and SoM. I heard the song numerous times back in the 60s (probably on the radio and TV) but hadn't seen the film until many years later. And when I did eventually see it, I was almost surprised that the song was in it. The film was in many ways better than I had expected, though not really my taste. |
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#9
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
On Thursday, 23 January 2020 20:05:19 UTC, Roger Mills wrote:
On 23/01/2020 19:41, wrote: On Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:15:32 UTC, polygonum_on_google wrote: I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials: https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice Through summers heat and winters chill You will hold the workpiece still O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage That faith and hope shall ever bloom Sawdust swept clear with a soft broom You bear a joyful message O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage Or as it's Aldi O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett Durch Sommerhitze und Winterkälte Sie halten das Werkstück ruhig O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Dieser Glaube und Hoffnung immer blühen Sägemehl klärte sich mit weichen Besen Du trägst eine freudige Botschaft O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Owain LOL! Two obvious contenders to be the next Poet Laureate. On a practical note - bringing it back to DIY - I bought one of these a couple of years ago. It works ok, but I had to re-engineer it considerably - particularly fettling the ball of the ball-joint, which was very rough and jerky. But what do you expect for £7?! Following the original link also shows a suction vice - with its suction pad straddling a gap between two planks. No chance that would stay put! Thanks - I had vaguely thought of getting the non-suction one - will look very carefully before buying. |
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#10
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
When I bought my first betamax video machine a copy of the Sound of Music
came with it. I watched it once I think. Its OK but not really my scene either. Musicals are a pretty strange form of entertainment. The other day I listened to an AD version of Mama Mia all over again, and apart from the music the rest seemed almost pointless to me. Stories in musicals seem to be either ones of somewhat modified real life or completely written to use songs already written. Sound of music is the former. Flower Drum song is one where the original music is there but with more modern words of course. I think possibly t the best musicals are those which are kind of fantasies already, like Cats, Starlight Express or the Rocky Horror show, I mean if you have to suspend reality you might as well go the whole hog. I'm waiting for Shawn the Sheep the Musical myself, or how about Pepper Pig? Brian -- ----- -- This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from... The Sofa of Brian Gaff... Blind user, so no pictures please Note this Signature is meaningless.! "polygonum_on_google" wrote in message ... On Thursday, 23 January 2020 20:10:13 UTC, Brian Gaff (Sofa 2) wrote: Why does everyone send up The Sound of music by writing alternative lyrics. I always recall a song that we used to sing, though the lyrics are long forgotten, but. The hills have arrived with a pound of moose meat.... Brian For a very simple reason - as soon as I read the words "Table Vice" my brain put them to the tune of Edelweiss. Curiously, I find there is a disconnect between that song and SoM. I heard the song numerous times back in the 60s (probably on the radio and TV) but hadn't seen the film until many years later. And when I did eventually see it, I was almost surprised that the song was in it. The film was in many ways better than I had expected, though not really my taste. |
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#11
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
On Thursday, 23 January 2020 20:25:29 UTC, Brian Gaff (Sofa) wrote:
When I bought my first betamax video machine a copy of the Sound of Music came with it. I watched it once I think. Its OK but not really my scene either. Musicals are a pretty strange form of entertainment. The other day I listened to an AD version of Mama Mia all over again, and apart from the music the rest seemed almost pointless to me. Stories in musicals seem to be either ones of somewhat modified real life or completely written to use songs already written. Sound of music is the former. Flower Drum song is one where the original music is there but with more modern words of course. I think possibly t the best musicals are those which are kind of fantasies already, like Cats, Starlight Express or the Rocky Horror show, I mean if you have to suspend reality you might as well go the whole hog. I'm waiting for Shawn the Sheep the Musical myself, or how about Pepper Pig? Brian The standard musical is pretty awful in my view. SoM actually had some bits that worked well and sometimes the songs actually were part of the story and not just bunged in. Cabaret was another where some songs were natural parts of the story. |
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#12
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
Brian Gaff (Sofa 2) wrote
Oh dear... Indeed. Unfortunately having just listened to an after the watershed program on bbc sounds, I immediately thought table vice was the at of having sex on a table. That’s just your cess pit of a 'mind' and I'd have you publicly flogged if you hadn't so obviously enjoyed that the last time. Terribly corrupting these bbc local radio shows. Only if you have a cess pit of a 'mind' "polygonum_on_google" wrote in message ... On Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:42:01 UTC, wrote: On Thursday, 23 January 2020 19:15:32 UTC, polygonum_on_google wrote: I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials: https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice Through summer's heat and winter's chill You will hold the workpiece still O Tablevice, O Tablevice You're so neat, so small and nice O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage That faith and hope shall ever bloom Sawdust swept clear with a soft broom You bear a joyful message O Tablevice, O Tablevice A good job you do presage Or as it's Aldi O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett Durch Sommerhitze und Winterkälte Sie halten das Werkstück ruhig O Tablevice, O Tablevice Du bist so hübsch, so klein und nett O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Dieser Glaube und Hoffnung immer blühen Sägemehl klärte sich mit weichen Besen Du trägst eine freudige Botschaft O Tablevice, O Tablevice Ein guter Job, den Sie vorgeben Owain Sehr gut, danke. (I was prompted to ask if I wanted "Translate message into English". :-) ) |
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#13
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Lonely Auto-contradicting Psychotic Senile Ozzie Troll Alert! LOL
On Fri, 24 Jan 2020 07:55:32 +1100, cantankerous trolling geezer Rodent
Speed, the auto-contradicting senile sociopath, blabbered, again: FLUSH the senile trolling asshole's latest troll**** ....and nothing's left. -- Website (from 2007) dedicated to the 85-year-old trolling senile cretin from Oz: https://www.pcreview.co.uk/threads/r...d-faq.2973853/ |
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#14
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Aldi DIY this week
Yes but cabaret was about, well to some extent, show biz, so I suppose not
so much of a stretch. Its interesting, actually to listen to old Beatles recordings, the out takes and messing about bits, in one John fits lyrics about Yokos divorce having come through into the tune of Oh Darling. Its easy to see how musicals ideas are born. Brian -- ----- -- This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from... The Sofa of Brian Gaff... Blind user, so no pictures please Note this Signature is meaningless.! "polygonum_on_google" wrote in message ... On Thursday, 23 January 2020 20:25:29 UTC, Brian Gaff (Sofa) wrote: When I bought my first betamax video machine a copy of the Sound of Music came with it. I watched it once I think. Its OK but not really my scene either. Musicals are a pretty strange form of entertainment. The other day I listened to an AD version of Mama Mia all over again, and apart from the music the rest seemed almost pointless to me. Stories in musicals seem to be either ones of somewhat modified real life or completely written to use songs already written. Sound of music is the former. Flower Drum song is one where the original music is there but with more modern words of course. I think possibly t the best musicals are those which are kind of fantasies already, like Cats, Starlight Express or the Rocky Horror show, I mean if you have to suspend reality you might as well go the whole hog. I'm waiting for Shawn the Sheep the Musical myself, or how about Pepper Pig? Brian The standard musical is pretty awful in my view. SoM actually had some bits that worked well and sometimes the songs actually were part of the story and not just bunged in. Cabaret was another where some songs were natural parts of the story. |
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#15
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
On Thu, 23 Jan 2020 11:15:28 -0800 (PST), polygonum_on_google
wrote: I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials: https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 And offer you this: Table vice, table vice, Every morning you grip me Small and light Clean and tight You look happy to squeeze me Acme of clutch May you fasten and crush Fasten and crush forever Table vice, table vice, Hold my work-piece forever With sincere apologies. My wife accused me of spending too much on DIY nick-nacks from Aldi and Lidl,especially as I'm getting on a bit and doing less and less. She claims this would be an IdleVise. -- Mike |
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#16
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
On Friday, 24 January 2020 10:45:05 UTC, Mike Halmarack wrote:
On Thu, 23 Jan 2020 11:15:28 -0800 (PST), polygonum_on_google wrote: I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials: https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 And offer you this: Table vice, table vice, Every morning you grip me Small and light Clean and tight You look happy to squeeze me Acme of clutch May you fasten and crush Fasten and crush forever Table vice, table vice, Hold my work-piece forever With sincere apologies. My wife accused me of spending too much on DIY nick-nacks from Aldi and Lidl,especially as I'm getting on a bit and doing less and less. She claims this would be an IdleVise. Another film entirely. :-) DOLITTLE This is absolutely typical of a woman! She makes one pie and goes completely mad! Been here two minutes and she's re-planning the entire trip! I didn't think the pie was all that wonderful! Is there any more? |
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#17
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
polygonum_on_google Wrote in message:
On Thursday, 23 January 2020 20:10:13 UTC, Brian Gaff (Sofa 2) wrote: Why does everyone send up The Sound of music by writing alternative lyrics. I always recall a song that we used to sing, though the lyrics are long forgotten, but. The hills have arrived with a pound of moose meat.... Brian For a very simple reason - as soon as I read the words "Table Vice" my brain put them to the tune of Edelweiss. Curiously, I find there is a disconnect between that song and SoM. I heard the song numerous times back in the 60s (probably on the radio and TV) but hadn't seen the film until many years later. And when I did eventually see it, I was almost surprised that the song was in it. The film was in many ways better than I had expected, though not really my taste. The clip-clop rythym in Doris Day's "Secret Love" always seems to take me by surprise. How can we get away with this in a cowboy movie. -- __ %Profound_observation% ----Android NewsGroup Reader---- http://usenet.sinaapp.com/ |
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#18
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
On 24/01/2020 10:45, Mike Halmarack wrote:
On Thu, 23 Jan 2020 11:15:28 -0800 (PST), polygonum_on_google wrote: I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials: https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 And offer you this: Table vice, table vice, Every morning you grip me Small and light Clean and tight You look happy to squeeze me Acme of clutch May you fasten and crush Fasten and crush forever Table vice, table vice, Hold my work-piece forever With sincere apologies. My wife accused me of spending too much on DIY nick-nacks from Aldi and Lidl,especially as I'm getting on a bit and doing less and less. She claims this would be an IdleVise. For any who still havn't seen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL7jyXCQ2Zc For Brian: http://www.mickeymacconnell.com/Lyri...and%20Aldi.htm |
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#19
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
On Thursday, 23 January 2020 20:10:13 UTC, Brian Gaff (Sofa 2) wrote:
Probably because it;s one of the most famous or well know songs that people know. Why does everyone send up The Sound of music by writing alternative lyrics. I always recall a song that we used to sing, though the lyrics are long forgotten, but. The hills have arrived with a pound of moose meat.... Brian |
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#20
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
On Thursday, 23 January 2020 20:17:24 UTC, polygonum_on_google wrote:
On Thursday, 23 January 2020 20:10:13 UTC, Brian Gaff (Sofa 2) wrote: Why does everyone send up The Sound of music by writing alternative lyrics. I always recall a song that we used to sing, though the lyrics are long forgotten, but. The hills have arrived with a pound of moose meat.... Brian For a very simple reason - as soon as I read the words "Table Vice" my brain put them to the tune of Edelweiss. Mine was I'm dreamaing of a vice chrismas, it's only 336 days away. |
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#21
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
"Mike Halmarack" wrote in message news  On Thu, 23 Jan 2020 11:15:28 -0800 (PST), polygonum_on_google wrote: I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials: https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 And offer you this: Table vice, table vice, Every morning you grip me Small and light Clean and tight You look happy to squeeze me Acme of clutch May you fasten and crush Fasten and crush forever Table vice, table vice, Hold my work-piece forever With sincere apologies. My wife accused me of spending too much on DIY nick-nacks from Aldi and Lidl,especially as I'm getting on a bit and doing less and less. She claims this would be an IdleVise. That's when you trade her in on a new bimbo like D i m's daughter. |
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#22
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UNBELIEVABLE: It's 05:01 am in Australia and the Senile Ozzietard has been out of Bed and TROLLING for AN HOUR already!!!! LOL
On Sat, 25 Jan 2020 05:01:54 +1100, cantankerous trolling geezer Rodent
Speed, the auto-contradicting senile sociopath, blabbered, again: FLUSH the sleepless senile troll's latest troll**** 05:01??? LOL Shouldn't you be trying to get back to bed again, senile pest? Or are you afraid you might miss some important info on these groups? LOL -- Marland revealing the senile sociopath's pathology: "You have mentioned Alexa in a couple of threads recently, it is not a real woman you know even if it is the only thing with a Female name that stays around around while you talk it to it. Poor sad git who has to resort to Usenet and electronic devices for any interaction as all real people run a mile to get away from from you boring them to death." MID: |
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#23
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
On Sat, 25 Jan 2020 05:01:54 +1100, "Rod Speed"
wrote: "Mike Halmarack" wrote in message news On Thu, 23 Jan 2020 11:15:28 -0800 (PST), polygonum_on_google wrote: I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials: https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 And offer you this: Table vice, table vice, Every morning you grip me Small and light Clean and tight You look happy to squeeze me Acme of clutch May you fasten and crush Fasten and crush forever Table vice, table vice, Hold my work-piece forever With sincere apologies. My wife accused me of spending too much on DIY nick-nacks from Aldi and Lidl,especially as I'm getting on a bit and doing less and less. She claims this would be an IdleVise. That's when you trade her in on a new bimbo like D i m's daughter. That'll be nice. As long as the new one doesn't require bigly exertions in the pyjama department. -- Mike |
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#24
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
On Saturday, 25 January 2020 08:46:59 UTC, Mike Halmarack wrote:
That'll be nice. As long as the new one doesn't require bigly exertions in the pyjama department. Putting pyjamas on, or taking them off? I think next birthday I'll be getting the fleecy ones with velcro. Owain |
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#26
Posted to uk.d-i-y
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Aldi DIY this week
"Mike Halmarack" wrote in message ... On Sat, 25 Jan 2020 05:01:54 +1100, "Rod Speed" wrote: "Mike Halmarack" wrote in message news On Thu, 23 Jan 2020 11:15:28 -0800 (PST), polygonum_on_google wrote: I saw this in their 23/01/2019 specials: https://www.aldi.co.uk/workzone-tabl...99235326401400 And offer you this: Table vice, table vice, Every morning you grip me Small and light Clean and tight You look happy to squeeze me Acme of clutch May you fasten and crush Fasten and crush forever Table vice, table vice, Hold my work-piece forever With sincere apologies. My wife accused me of spending too much on DIY nick-nacks from Aldi and Lidl,especially as I'm getting on a bit and doing less and less. She claims this would be an IdleVise. That's when you trade her in on a new bimbo like D i m's daughter. That'll be nice. As long as the new one doesn't require bigly exertions in the pyjama department. Its unlikely that D i m's daughter does given that she spends her days shovelling up dead cat corpses and chopping down big trees etc. |
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#27
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UNBELIEVABLE: It's 02:43 am in Australia and the Senile Ozzietard is out of Bed and TROLLING, already!!!! LOL
On Sun, 26 Jan 2020 02:43:00 +1100, cantankerous trolling geezer Rodent
Speed, the auto-contradicting senile sociopath, blabbered, again: FLUSH senile troll's troll**** 02:43??? LOL Another long night of insipid trolling ahead for you again, you lonesome trolling senile pest? -- Marland answering senile Rodent's statement, "I don't leak": "That¢s because so much **** and ****e emanates from your gob that there is nothing left to exit normally, your arsehole has clammed shut through disuse and the end of prick is only clear because you are such a ******." Message-ID: |
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