My very first merbile fern kerl
 

Tried my new IRIDIUM 9555 satellite phone today and although I could get a signal in my conservatory, reception was garbage, so I went outside and got a full 5 bars. Rang her indoors and apart from the 3 sec time lag, it was as clear as a bell. Just got to use up the remaining 48m before they vanish in 23 days.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg:large

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
Tried my new IRIDIUM 9555 satellite phone today and although I could get a
signal in my conservatory, reception was garbage, so I went outside and got
a full 5 bars. Rang her indoors and apart from the 3 sec time lag, it was as
clear as a bell. Just got to use up the remaining 48m before they vanish in
23 days.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg:large

23 days? Judging by the ******** you type in here you'll manage that in
~48m.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On 22/11/2016 18:03, bm wrote:
"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
Tried my new IRIDIUM 9555 satellite phone today and although I could get a
signal in my conservatory, reception was garbage, so I went outside and got
a full 5 bars. Rang her indoors and apart from the 3 sec time lag, it was as
clear as a bell. Just got to use up the remaining 48m before they vanish in
23 days.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg:large

23 days? Judging by the ******** you type in here you'll manage that in
~48m.


About the only thing that wouldn't hang up would be the speaking clock,
err no, that would hang up too.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

Simon Mason wrote

Tried my new IRIDIUM 9555 satellite phone today and although
I could get a signal in my conservatory, reception was garbage,

Yep, they are that ****ed. And dont work at all inside the house.

If your smartphone was that ****ed, you'd return it.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg:large

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Tuesday, 22 November 2016 19:31:50 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:
Simon Mason wrote

Tried my new IRIDIUM 9555 satellite phone today and although
I could get a signal in my conservatory, reception was garbage,

Yep, they are that ****ed. And dont work at all inside the house..

If your smartphone was that ****ed, you'd return it.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg:large

It won't work in this Rotterdam - Utrecht train either, but I can type this on my Acer Apire with the onboard WIFI.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
On Tuesday, 22 November 2016 19:31:50 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:
Simon Mason wrote

Tried my new IRIDIUM 9555 satellite phone today and although
I could get a signal in my conservatory, reception was garbage,

Yep, they are that ****ed. And dont work at all inside the house.

If your smartphone was that ****ed, you'd return it.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg:large

It won't work in this Rotterdam - Utrecht train either, but I can type
this on my Acer Apire with the onboard WIFI.

Any smartphone can do that too.

And do a hell of a lot more too.

And is a lot more portable too.

And runs for a lot longer on a charge too.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

I notice that this month a new Iridium sat phone satellite is being
launched. Who is funding this these days, for ages it seemed to be a dead in
the water system.
Brian

--
----- -
This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
The Sofa of Brian Gaff...

Blind user, so no pictures please!
"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
Tried my new IRIDIUM 9555 satellite phone today and although I could get a
signal in my conservatory, reception was garbage, so I went outside and got
a full 5 bars. Rang her indoors and apart from the 3 sec time lag, it was as
clear as a bell. Just got to use up the remaining 48m before they vanish in
23 days.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg:large

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On 23/11/2016 17:33, Brian Gaff wrote:
I notice that this month a new Iridium sat phone satellite is being
launched. Who is funding this these days, for ages it seemed to be a dead in
the water system.
Brian


at a grand for the phone and 2 quid a minute and a quid a text, only
explorers could justify one (although charging it each day could be a
problem), a few flares to supplement a mobile phone would be better
value for the average Joe.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

Brian Gaff wrote

I notice that this month a new Iridium sat phone satellite is being
launched. Who is funding this these days,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iridiu...Present_status

for ages it seemed to be a dead in the water system.

Its too widely used for that.

"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
Tried my new IRIDIUM 9555 satellite phone today and although I could get a
signal in my conservatory, reception was garbage, so I went outside and
got a full 5 bars. Rang her indoors and apart from the 3 sec time lag, it
was as clear as a bell. Just got to use up the remaining 48m before they
vanish in 23 days.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CxjyQ9MWEAAVZQQ.jpg:large

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

"Brian Gaff" wrote in message
...
I notice that this month a new Iridium sat phone satellite is being
launched. Who is funding this these days, for ages it seemed to be a dead
in the water system.

Simon Mason is funding it.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Wednesday, 23 November 2016 19:48:11 UTC, bm wrote:
"Brian Gaff" wrote in message
...
I notice that this month a new Iridium sat phone satellite is being
launched. Who is funding this these days, for ages it seemed to be a dead
in the water system.

Simon Mason is funding it.

I couldn't even use to today in Dortmund as there are too many high buildings.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

MrCheerful wrote
Brian Gaff wrote

I notice that this month a new Iridium sat phone satellite is being
launched. Who is funding this these days, for ages it seemed to be a dead
in the water system.

at a grand for the phone and 2 quid a minute and a quid a text, only
explorers could justify one

That’s not true. Clearly govts and mining
operations etc and news agencys etc can too.

(although charging it each day could be a problem), a few flares to
supplement a mobile phone would be better value for the average Joe.

Or have enough of a clue to use transport systems
that have what it needs to communicate when the
**** does hit the fan.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

Simon Mason wrote
bm wrote
Brian Gaff wrote

I notice that this month a new Iridium sat phone satellite is being
launched. Who is funding this these days, for ages it seemed to be a
dead
in the water system.

Simon Mason is funding it.

I couldn't even use to today in Dortmund as there are too many high
buildings.

Yep, completely useless for all but the most remote outside any buildings
situations.

You cant even use them on a decent sized ship, you have to go outside.

Completely useless for normal communications and insanely expensive
to use even when they do work. Only viable for commercial operations
that are earning great slabs of money or govt etc.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Wednesday, 23 November 2016 21:08:50 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:
Simon Mason wrote
bm wrote
Brian Gaff wrote

I notice that this month a new Iridium sat phone satellite is being
launched. Who is funding this these days, for ages it seemed to be a
dead
in the water system.

Simon Mason is funding it.

I couldn't even use to today in Dortmund as there are too many high
buildings.

Yep, completely useless for all but the most remote outside any buildings
situations.

I went into a local park using my 3790T to navigate and got 5 bars by using my BRAIN.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

Simon Mason wrote
Rod Speed wrote
Simon Mason wrote
bm wrote
Brian Gaff wrote

I notice that this month a new Iridium sat phone satellite
is being launched. Who is funding this these days, for
ages it seemed to be a dead in the water system.

Simon Mason is funding it.

I couldn't even use to today in Dortmund
as there are too many high buildings.

Yep, completely useless for all but the most
remote outside any buildings situations.

I went into a local park using my 3790T to
navigate and got 5 bars by using my BRAIN.

And if you actually had a viable BRAIN, and had got
a real phone, you could have just taken it out of your
****ing pocket and used it anywhere there. And done
a hell of a lot more with it than all the other **** you
are actually stupid enough to lug around instead.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Wednesday, 23 November 2016 23:49:45 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:
And done
a hell of a lot more with it than all the other **** you
are actually stupid enough to lug around instead.

Our lass's case has a handle that had come off and so I went into a store and bought a £220 Samsonite 4x4, got a £40 off voucher, bought two free shirts for £40, put the fern, camera and shopping in the new case and threw the old one away.

Used 3790T to find Aldi, bought beer to put in Samsonite, found restaurant, bunged them £50 and walked back to NH Dortmund next to Dortmund Hauptbahnhof for 0923h Platform 11 to Rotterdam.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

Simon Mason wrote
Rod Speed wrote

And done a hell of a lot more with it than all the other
**** you are actually stupid enough to lug around instead.

Our lass's case has a handle that had come off and so I went
into a store and bought a £220 Samsonite 4x4, got a £40 off
voucher, bought two free shirts for £40, put the fern, camera
and shopping in the new case and threw the old one away.

And you wouldnt have had to do any of that if you had had
enough of a clue to have a decent smartphone instead of all
that dinosaur **** you are stupid enough to lug around instead.

Used 3790T to find Aldi, bought beer to put in Samsonite, found
restaurant, bunged them £50 and walked back to NH Dortmund next
to Dortmund Hauptbahnhof for 0923h Platform 11 to Rotterdam.

And if you had had enough of a clue to have a decent smartphone
instead, you could have had a much better look at that restaurant
before you had showed up at it and been much more certain that
it was going to suit you from than you were able to do by using
that dinosaur to do that instead. And would have been able to
pay the bill much more securely using it as well, and would have
been able to check that nothing had got ****ed up with the train
while you were stuffing your face as well, and wouldnt have had
to lug all that **** of yours around with you while doing that either.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Thursday, 24 November 2016 03:15:30 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:

And if you had had enough of a clue to have a decent smartphone
instead, you could have had a much better look at that restaurant
before you had showed up at it and been much more certain that
it was going to suit you from than you were able to do by using
that dinosaur to do that instead.

Found the Indian on my 3790T but it was like a student drop in, there was a mom and pop stubl next door were we had schnitzel and 4x500cm3 of pilsner which I ordered in German. Showed them the QR code on our lass's chavphone for a joke until gave them real folding.

Thing is, our lass thinks this all happens by magic and not months of planning and the ability to think on your feet.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

Simon Mason wrote
Rod Speed wrote

And if you had had enough of a clue to have a decent
smartphone instead, you could have had a much better
look at that restaurant before you had showed up at it and
been much more certain that it was going to suit you from than
you were able to do by using that dinosaur to do that instead.

Found the Indian on my 3790T but it was like a student drop in,

Like I said, if you had had enough of a clue to use a decent
smartphone when deciding which one to use, that would
have been obvious before you had gone near it and you
could have looked for something better before lugging
your massive great suitcase full of dinosaur **** there first.
Just wandered over to where looked best with your phone
in your pocket instead. And paid very securely using your phone
too, much better than cash or physical cards security wise.

there was a mom and pop stubl next door

Pure fluke which wouldnt have been necessary
to fluke if you had had enough of a clue to
check on the phone before moving anywhere.

were we had schnitzel and 4x500cm3
of pilsner which I ordered in German.

Dont need to speak the language with a decent smartphone.

Showed them the QR code on our lass's chavphone
for a joke until gave them real folding.

Stupid to be farting around with cash anymore.

Thing is, our lass thinks this all happens by magic and not
months of planning and the ability to think on your feet.

Dont need months of planning when you
have a decent smartphone in your pocket.

Or to lug around a suitcase full of dinosaur **** either.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

"Rod Speed" wrote in message
...
snip

And you think you're having a go at Mason?
LMFAO.
You've bitten and can't let go.
Hilarious.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Wednesday, 23 November 2016 23:35:29 UTC, Simon Mason wrote:

I went into a local park using my 3790T to navigate and got 5 bars by using my BRAIN.

Sounds more like a pub crawl to me.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Wed, 23 Nov 2016 16:14:36 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

On Wednesday, 23 November 2016 23:49:45 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:
And done
a hell of a lot more with it than all the other **** you
are actually stupid enough to lug around instead.

Our lass's case has a handle that had come off and so I went into a store and bought a £220 Samsonite 4x4, got a £40 off voucher, bought two free shirts for £40, put the fern, camera and shopping in the new case and threw the old one away.

Used 3790T to find Aldi, bought beer to put in Samsonite, found restaurant, bunged them £50 and walked back to NH Dortmund next to Dortmund Hauptbahnhof for 0923h Platform 11 to Rotterdam.


Crikey - you really know how to live the high life.

We are all so impressed.

Did you get a nice Vindaloo at the restaurant?

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Wed, 23 Nov 2016 19:50:17 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

On Thursday, 24 November 2016 03:15:30 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:

And if you had had enough of a clue to have a decent smartphone
instead, you could have had a much better look at that restaurant
before you had showed up at it and been much more certain that
it was going to suit you from than you were able to do by using
that dinosaur to do that instead.

Found the Indian on my 3790T

Yeeeees : I knew that you would be having a Vindaloo.

Unbelievable.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Thursday, 24 November 2016 05:19:25 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:


Dont need months of planning when you
have a decent smartphone in your pocket.

Stuck my head out of the NH Dortmund window this morning and finally rang DD1 who was in Leeds and got through 5 and 30db over 9. Our lass thinking it was a chavphone came indoors and promptly went QRT.

Arrived at the station for 0910, got through to DD2 at 0915, but took my eye off the ball and turned round to see my 0923 set off without me, so bought DB online 24 access for £4.50 and rejigged route.

Biggest laugh was when three lairy UKIP youth branch turned up only to find their chavphones cloaked, so I logged onto my private network and watched the ignorant scum put their £700 dinosaurs against the windows.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On 24/11/2016 20:25, Simon Mason wrote:
On Thursday, 24 November 2016 05:19:25 UTC, Rod Speed wrote:


Dont need months of planning when you
have a decent smartphone in your pocket.

Stuck my head out of the NH Dortmund window this morning and finally rang DD1 who was in Leeds and got through 5 and 30db over 9. Our lass thinking it was a chavphone came indoors and promptly went QRT.

Arrived at the station for 0910, got through to DD2 at 0915, but took my eye off the ball and turned round to see my 0923 set off without me, so bought DB online 24 access for £4.50 and rejigged route.

Biggest laugh was when three lairy UKIP youth branch turned up only to find their chavphones cloaked, so I logged onto my private network and watched the ignorant scum put their £700 dinosaurs against the windows.



You appear to have lost your marbles completely, following your
retirement. Very sad, it must have been all those chemical fumes, see
if you can get compo. you will need it when you end up in a nursing
home in a year or two.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

Simon Mason wrote

Stuck my head out of the NH Dortmund window this morning

Wouldnt have to with a real phone.

and finally rang DD1 who was in Leeds
and got through 5 and 30db over 9.

Always get that with a real phone.

Our lass thinking it was a chavphone
came indoors and promptly went QRT.

Wouldnt happen with a real phone.

Arrived at the station for 0910,

After lugging all that dinosaur crap with you...

got through to DD2 at 0915, but took my eye off the ball
and turned round to see my 0923 set off without me,

Wouldnt have happened with a decent smartphone.

so bought DB online 24 access for £4.50 and rejigged route.

Wouldnt have needed to with a decent smartphone.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Thursday, 24 November 2016 20:25:44 UTC, Simon Mason wrote:


Biggest laugh was when three lairy UKIP youth branch turned up only to find their chavphones cloaked, so I logged onto my private network and watched the ignorant scum put their £700 dinosaurs against the windows.

I found out that they were from Manchester and had been to Borussia Mönchengladbach. Must have been why there were loads of Mancs scum on board the Pride of Hull, so when I was called a tight Yorkshire git by a table of 5 bald tattooed gentlemen, I bought them all a round of drinks to prove them wrong, something I always seem to do every minute of every day.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On 25/11/2016 06:45, Simon Mason wrote:
On Thursday, 24 November 2016 20:25:44 UTC, Simon Mason wrote:


Biggest laugh was when three lairy UKIP youth branch turned up only to find their chavphones cloaked, so I logged onto my private network and watched the ignorant scum put their £700 dinosaurs against the windows.

I found out that they were from Manchester and had been to Borussia Mönchengladbach. Must have been why there were loads of Mancs scum on board the Pride of Hull, so when I was called a tight Yorkshire git by a table of 5 bald tattooed gentlemen, I bought them all a round of drinks to prove them wrong, something I always seem to do every minute of every day.


You buy strangers a round of drinks 1,440 times a day? My goodness your
pension pot must be huge, tell us again how much it is.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Thu, 24 Nov 2016 22:45:59 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

snip

I bought them all a round of drinks to prove them wrong, something I always seem to do every minute of every day.


Fascinating : you must be so well off to be able to do that. We are so
envious.

(There is no need to be drinking every minute of every day : perhaps you
should seek help)

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Friday, 25 November 2016 11:40:12 UTC, Judith wrote:
On Thu, 24 Nov 2016 22:45:59 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

snip

I bought them all a round of drinks to prove them wrong, something I always seem to do every minute of every day.


Fascinating : you must be so well off to be able to do that. We are so
envious.

(There is no need to be drinking every minute of every day : perhaps you
should seek help)

I was in a toilet at Rotterdam Centraal when three Dutch muslim girls were looking for 70 cents to operate the turnstile. Since I had just used my Barclaycard to tap on the sensor to let our lass in, I let them all through as well and gave the five 50 cents off coupons to the bog cleaner.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
On Friday, 25 November 2016 11:40:12 UTC, Judith wrote:
On Thu, 24 Nov 2016 22:45:59 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

snip

I bought them all a round of drinks to prove them wrong, something I
always seem to do every minute of every day.


Fascinating : you must be so well off to be able to do that. We are so
envious.

(There is no need to be drinking every minute of every day : perhaps you
should seek help)

I was in a toilet at Rotterdam Centraal when three Dutch muslim girls were
looking for 70 cents to operate the turnstile. Since I had just used my
Barclaycard to tap on the sensor to let our lass in, I let them all through
as well and gave the five 50 cents off coupons to the bog cleaner.

Hmmm, not enough detail about the toilet usage. E.g, did you take the
mainframe in there with you etc?
Had you pre-booked?

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Friday, 25 November 2016 13:05:35 UTC, bm wrote:
"Simon Mason" wrote in message
...
On Friday, 25 November 2016 11:40:12 UTC, Judith wrote:
On Thu, 24 Nov 2016 22:45:59 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

snip

I bought them all a round of drinks to prove them wrong, something I
always seem to do every minute of every day.


Fascinating : you must be so well off to be able to do that. We are so
envious.

(There is no need to be drinking every minute of every day : perhaps you
should seek help)

I was in a toilet at Rotterdam Centraal when three Dutch muslim girls were
looking for 70 cents to operate the turnstile. Since I had just used my
Barclaycard to tap on the sensor to let our lass in, I let them all through
as well and gave the five 50 cents off coupons to the bog cleaner.

Hmmm, not enough detail about the toilet usage. E.g, did you take the
mainframe in there with you etc?
Had you pre-booked?

He was loitering by the female toilets what more do you need to know ;-)

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Fri, 25 Nov 2016 04:21:52 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

On Friday, 25 November 2016 11:40:12 UTC, Judith wrote:
On Thu, 24 Nov 2016 22:45:59 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

snip

I bought them all a round of drinks to prove them wrong, something I always seem to do every minute of every day.


Fascinating : you must be so well off to be able to do that. We are so
envious.

(There is no need to be drinking every minute of every day : perhaps you
should seek help)

I was in a toilet at Rotterdam Centraal when three Dutch muslim girls were looking for 70 cents to operate the turnstile. Since I had just used my Barclaycard to tap on the sensor to let our lass in, I let them all through as well and gave the five 50 cents off coupons to the bog cleaner.


You really do splash your cash about.

I bet you are loaded.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Friday, 25 November 2016 19:08:45 UTC, Judith wrote:


You really do splash your cash about.

I bet you are loaded.

DD1 is here tonight in her 66 plate car and she lives here.

http://www.david-hill.co.uk/properti...perty-599.html

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Fri, 25 Nov 2016 13:53:11 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

On Friday, 25 November 2016 19:08:45 UTC, Judith wrote:


You really do splash your cash about.

I bet you are loaded.

DD1 is here tonight in her 66 plate car and she lives here.

http://www.david-hill.co.uk/properti...perty-599.html


Crikey she must be almost as well off as you are.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Saturday, 26 November 2016 12:28:56 UTC, Judith wrote:
On Fri, 25 Nov 2016 13:53:11 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

On Friday, 25 November 2016 19:08:45 UTC, Judith wrote:


You really do splash your cash about.

I bet you are loaded.

DD1 is here tonight in her 66 plate car and she lives here.

http://www.david-hill.co.uk/properti...perty-599.html


Crikey she must be almost as well off as you are.

Her partner, Dave the Rave, is ploughing all of his own company's perks into enough cash to buy a house outright and he already has £200 000 saved up, so it takes the pressure off me a little.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On 26/11/2016 12:37, Simon Mason wrote:
On Saturday, 26 November 2016 12:28:56 UTC, Judith wrote:
On Fri, 25 Nov 2016 13:53:11 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

On Friday, 25 November 2016 19:08:45 UTC, Judith wrote:


You really do splash your cash about.

I bet you are loaded.

DD1 is here tonight in her 66 plate car and she lives here.

http://www.david-hill.co.uk/properti...perty-599.html


Crikey she must be almost as well off as you are.

Her partner, Dave the Rave, is ploughing all of his own company's perks into enough cash to buy a house outright and he already has £200 000 saved up, so it takes the pressure off me a little.


Should be able to buy a whole terrace in Hull with that much, and some
whippets and pigeons.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Saturday, 26 November 2016 12:28:56 UTC, Judith wrote:
On Fri, 25 Nov 2016 13:53:11 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

On Friday, 25 November 2016 19:08:45 UTC, Judith wrote:


You really do splash your cash about.

I bet you are loaded.

DD1 is here tonight in her 66 plate car and she lives here.

http://www.david-hill.co.uk/properti...perty-599.html


Crikey she must be almost as well off as you are.

Nope - she can't afford to heat that huge gaff like I can, so they have to huddle around the Aga to keep warm and their windows are garbage, but they can't do owt with them as it's not their drum.

My very first merbile fern kerl
 

On Sun, 27 Nov 2016 20:50:28 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

On Saturday, 26 November 2016 12:28:56 UTC, Judith wrote:
On Fri, 25 Nov 2016 13:53:11 -0800 (PST), Simon Mason
wrote:

On Friday, 25 November 2016 19:08:45 UTC, Judith wrote:


You really do splash your cash about.

I bet you are loaded.

DD1 is here tonight in her 66 plate car and she lives here.

http://www.david-hill.co.uk/properti...perty-599.html


Crikey she must be almost as well off as you are.

Nope - she can't afford to heat that huge gaff like I can,

You should give her some of the many thousands which you obviously have.