Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

--
I was walking down the street and saw a black guy walking with a TV in his hands.
I thought to myself, **** that looks like mine so I rushed home.
Nope, mine was still there, shining my shoes.

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where it is?

--
What do you call a dwarf who throws the discus?
A compact disc player.

"Tough Guy no. 1265" wrote in message
news
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where it
is?

it is in the van on its way to your hovel, you stupid unemployed trolling
prick
hey! have a nice wank over the replies you get, phuckerprick

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where it
is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are left
before yours, and how long it will be.

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where it
is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are left
before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

--
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was?

Unlikely to help much watching it tour the local area
past every drop point before it gets to your place.

They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They'd be terminal ****wits if they don't.

Reporting back where they are all the
time tho is a different matter entirely.

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where it
is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are left
before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the window
has started.
DAMHIKT

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 23:09:33 +0200, Bob Minchin wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where
your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where
it is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are left
before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the window
has started.

So I've heard.

The other thing to watch out for is that once it starts to say '15
minutes away', they could arrive any time soon.

It's still pretty good.

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where it
is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are left
before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the window
has started.
DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but got around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is beyond comprehension.

--
In 1977, researchers detected a strong radio signal from space that lasted 72 seconds. It hasn't been detected since.

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:14:50 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 23:09:33 +0200, Bob Minchin wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where
your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where
it is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are left
before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the window
has started.

So I've heard.

The other thing to watch out for is that once it starts to say '15
minutes away', they could arrive any time soon.

It's still pretty good.

It was very good when Alfred was my delivery driver, they're not all that good though.

--
The average speed of a boy's ejaculation is 28 miles (45.05 km) per hour.
The average speed of a city bus is 25 miles (40.22 km) per hour.

In article , Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin
wrote:

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the window
has started.
DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but got
around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is beyond
comprehension.

Because the customer might not be at home until the start of the allotted
hour.

And once you get out of sync it only gets worse.

Our usual DPD driver is very efficient - almost always at the door on
the minute. Occasionally we've had double deliveries (ie. packages for
me & separate ones for my wife) and there has been a few minutes delay
between deliveries...

And as far as I'm aware, the GPS position is updated at the same time
the driver pushed the 'ok' button after the pad has been signed, so it's
not quite real-time but close enough. I can usually tell when the van
is one stop away and wander down, open the door, etc.

Gordon

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:32:33 +0100, Gordon Henderson wrote:

In article , Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin
wrote:

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the window
has started.
DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but got
around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is beyond
comprehension.

Because the customer might not be at home until the start of the allotted
hour.

So what? You can't be that stupid. If the customer is home (as I was), why the hell should the computer system stop me from signing for it?

And once you get out of sync it only gets worse.

Our usual DPD driver is very efficient - almost always at the door on
the minute. Occasionally we've had double deliveries (ie. packages for
me & separate ones for my wife) and there has been a few minutes delay
between deliveries...

I recently had three consignments from parcel force, with a new guy. I was out at the time, and he delivered parcel 1 of 1 from consignment 1, and parcels 2 of 3 and 3 of 3 from consignment 3 to my neighbour. Then returned at the end of his round when he realised there were three more parcels for me in his van. Not his fault really, for some reason new parcel force blokes have to use pen and paper for a while before they get promoted to using a handheld device.

And as far as I'm aware, the GPS position is updated at the same time
the driver pushed the 'ok' button after the pad has been signed, so it's
not quite real-time but close enough. I can usually tell when the van
is one stop away and wander down, open the door, etc.

You must have a huge mansion and not be able to answer the door in a a timely manner when he rings the bell. Maybe you should get a sensor installed at the end of your driveway?

--
A statistician took a standard deviation from his normal way home because the mean of the population was after him.

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:15:24 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin
wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where
your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where
it is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local
depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are left
before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the window
has started.
DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but got
around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is beyond
comprehension.

Because the customer might have had to come home specially to receive it.

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:47:07 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:15:24 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin
wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where
your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where
it is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local
depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are left
before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the window
has started.
DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but got
around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is beyond
comprehension.

Because the customer might have had to come home specially to receive it.

Bull****. I am told the parcel is to arrive between 1pm and 2pm.

If I am not home at 12:30pm and the driver comes then, well that's the driver's problem, he'll have to have a coffee break.

If I am home at 12:30pm, I might aswell sign for it.

--
Dancing cheektocheek is really a form of floor play.

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:50:17 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:47:07 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:15:24 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin
wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where
your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see
where it is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local
depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are
left before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the
window has started.
DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but got
around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is beyond
comprehension.

Because the customer might have had to come home specially to receive
it.

Bull****. I am told the parcel is to arrive between 1pm and 2pm.

If I am not home at 12:30pm and the driver comes then, well that's the
driver's problem, he'll have to have a coffee break.

If I am home at 12:30pm, I might aswell sign for it.

I suspect there's some arcane reason to do with fiddling 'customer not
in' statuses.

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:56:07 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:50:17 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:47:07 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:15:24 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin
wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where
your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see
where it is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local
depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are
left before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the
window has started.
DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but got
around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is beyond
comprehension.

Because the customer might have had to come home specially to receive
it.

Bull****. I am told the parcel is to arrive between 1pm and 2pm.

If I am not home at 12:30pm and the driver comes then, well that's the
driver's problem, he'll have to have a coffee break.

If I am home at 12:30pm, I might aswell sign for it.

I suspect there's some arcane reason to do with fiddling 'customer not
in' statuses.

Nope. If the driver comes at 12:30, he cannot enter that status, as I should not be in. If the driver comes at 1:30, then he should be able to enter that status, as I wasn't there. With the current system, he can still arrive at 12:30, find me correctly not in, then enter the customer not in status an hour later. So the system achieves nothing. There is no advantage whatsoever in preventing the customer from signing for the parcel at any time.

--
I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours -- Stephen Roberts

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 23:03:20 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:56:07 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:50:17 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:47:07 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:15:24 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin
wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where
your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see
where it is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local
depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are
left before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the
window has started.
DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but got
around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is beyond
comprehension.

Because the customer might have had to come home specially to receive
it.

Bull****. I am told the parcel is to arrive between 1pm and 2pm.

If I am not home at 12:30pm and the driver comes then, well that's the
driver's problem, he'll have to have a coffee break.

If I am home at 12:30pm, I might aswell sign for it.

I suspect there's some arcane reason to do with fiddling 'customer not
in' statuses.

Nope. If the driver comes at 12:30, he cannot enter that status, as I should not be in. If the driver comes at 1:30, then he should be able to enter that status, as I wasn't there. With the current system, he can still arrive at 12:30, find me correctly not in, then enter the customer not in status an hour later. So the system achieves nothing. There is no advantage whatsoever in preventing the customer from signing for the parcel at any time.

The stupid system failed anyway. He gave me the parcels early, swore at the device, then told me he'd sign it himself later on with an unintelligible squiggle that looked like my name. Nobody can sign properly on those things anyway. My signature never looks anything like the real thing.

--
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."
- General MacArthur

"Mick" wrote in message
...

"Tough Guy no. 1265" wrote in message
news
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where it
is?

it is in the van on its way to your hovel, you stupid unemployed trolling
prick
hey! have a nice wank over the replies you get, phuckerprick

^^ This.

"Tough Guy no. 1265" wrote in message
news
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 23:03:20 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:56:07 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:50:17 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:47:07 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:15:24 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin
wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where
your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see
where it is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected.
It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local
depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are
left before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1
hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the
window has started.
DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but
got
around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is
beyond
comprehension.

Because the customer might have had to come home specially to receive
it.

Bull****. I am told the parcel is to arrive between 1pm and 2pm.

If I am not home at 12:30pm and the driver comes then, well that's the
driver's problem, he'll have to have a coffee break.

If I am home at 12:30pm, I might aswell sign for it.

I suspect there's some arcane reason to do with fiddling 'customer not
in' statuses.

Nope. If the driver comes at 12:30, he cannot enter that status, as I
should not be in. If the driver comes at 1:30, then he should be able to
enter that status, as I wasn't there. With the current system, he can
still arrive at 12:30, find me correctly not in, then enter the customer
not in status an hour later. So the system achieves nothing. There is
no advantage whatsoever in preventing the customer from signing for the
parcel at any time.

The stupid system failed anyway. He gave me the parcels early, swore at
the device, then told me he'd sign it himself later on with an
unintelligible squiggle that looked like my name. Nobody can sign
properly on those things anyway. My signature never looks anything like
the real thing.

And they don't know what the real thing looks like anyway.

"Tough Guy no. 1265" wrote in message
news
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 23:03:20 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:56:07 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:50:17 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:47:07 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:15:24 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin
wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where
your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see
where it is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected.
It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local
depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are
left before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1
hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the
window has started.
DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but
got
around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is
beyond
comprehension.

Because the customer might have had to come home specially to receive
it.

Bull****. I am told the parcel is to arrive between 1pm and 2pm.

If I am not home at 12:30pm and the driver comes then, well that's the
driver's problem, he'll have to have a coffee break.

If I am home at 12:30pm, I might aswell sign for it.

I suspect there's some arcane reason to do with fiddling 'customer not
in' statuses.

Nope. If the driver comes at 12:30, he cannot enter that status, as I
should not be in. If the driver comes at 1:30, then he should be able to
enter that status, as I wasn't there. With the current system, he can
still arrive at 12:30, find me correctly not in, then enter the customer
not in status an hour later. So the system achieves nothing. There is
no advantage whatsoever in preventing the customer from signing for the
parcel at any time.

The stupid system failed anyway. He gave me the parcels early, swore at
the device, then told me he'd sign it himself later on with an
unintelligible squiggle that looked like my name.

A well designed system wouldn't allow that anyway, it
would check if it was signed at the location of the delivery.

And would take a photo of the receiver signing it too.

Nobody can sign properly on those things anyway. My signature never looks
anything like the real thing.

In article ,
Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

Ideal for a hijack, then.

--
*No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes *

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On 11/09/2015 00:11, Rod Speed wrote:


A well designed system wouldn't allow that anyway, it
would check if it was signed at the location of the delivery.

That would rely on the location system being 100% accurate 100% of the
time, so probably not worth the effort.

"Chris Bartram" wrote in message
...
On 11/09/2015 00:11, Rod Speed wrote:


A well designed system wouldn't allow that anyway, it
would check if it was signed at the location of the delivery.

That would rely on the location system being 100% accurate 100% of the
time,

Nope, just needs to allow a sensible difference
between the delivery and signing location.

so probably not worth the effort.

No effort at all required.

Even better to take a photo of the
individual who signs for it so that
if there is any dispute about who it
was delivered to and who signed
for if can be trivially proven that
the driver didn't just toss it over
the fence and sign for it himself.

On 11/09/2015 08:57, Rod Speed wrote:


"Chris Bartram" wrote in message
...
On 11/09/2015 00:11, Rod Speed wrote:


A well designed system wouldn't allow that anyway, it
would check if it was signed at the location of the delivery.

That would rely on the location system being 100% accurate 100% of the
time,

Nope, just needs to allow a sensible difference
between the delivery and signing location.

so probably not worth the effort.

No effort at all required.

Even better to take a photo of the
individual who signs for it so that
if there is any dispute about who it
was delivered to and who signed
for if can be trivially proven that
the driver didn't just toss it over
the fence and sign for it himself.

I'm sure that will happen soon.

On Thursday, 10 September 2015 22:44:04 UTC+1, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
Not his fault really, for some reason new parcel force blokes have to
use pen and paper for a while before they get promoted to using a
handheld device.

Standard compensation for parcels going missing is cheap, but handhelds are expensive to replace if the driver is careless or dishonest?

Owain

In message , at 22:15:24 on Thu, 10 Sep 2015,
Tough Guy no. 1265 remarked:
You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where it
is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local depot.
Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries are left
before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the window
has started.
DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but got around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is beyond comprehension.

If you are out of the house, and heading home in order to be in when the
parcel arrives, being early isn't any good. Unless in those
circumstances the driver waits until the time you were given.

DPD deliveries I get are almost always right at the beginning of the
window, so perhaps they've been waiting round the corner for the clock
to tick on.
--
Roland Perry

"Tough Guy no. 1265" wrote in message
news
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where it
is?

One of the courier companies (I don't think it's DPD, and it certainly not
Parcelforce or UPS) *does* allow you to do exactly this: you get an email
from Amazon (or whoever you've ordered from) with a URL that allows you to
see the location of the van and the number of deliveries that he has to make
before he gets to you. I was once watching and saw that the spot on the map
made a strange detour rather than taking the direct route, even though I was
next on the list without an intervening delivery being shown. The driver was
amazed when I said "was there yet another accident at X junction" (a
notorious accident black spot) and said he'd forgotten that his van could be
tracked.

On Fri, 11 Sep 2015 10:17:55 +0100, NY wrote:

"Tough Guy no. 1265" wrote in message
news
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where it
is?

One of the courier companies (I don't think it's DPD, and it certainly
not Parcelforce or UPS) *does* allow you to do exactly this: you get an
email from Amazon (or whoever you've ordered from) with a URL that
allows you to see the location of the van and the number of deliveries
that he has to make before he gets to you. I was once watching and saw
that the spot on the map made a strange detour rather than taking the
direct route, even though I was next on the list without an intervening
delivery being shown. The driver was amazed when I said "was there yet
another accident at X junction" (a notorious accident black spot) and
said he'd forgotten that his van could be tracked.

It is DPD, but Interlink use the same system (they may be related
companies).

On 11/09/15 11:11, Bob Eager wrote:

It is DPD, but Interlink use the same system (they may be related
companies).


They are the same company.

In article , Tough Guy no. 1265
wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin
wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where
your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where
it is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local
depot. Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries
are left before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the window
has started. DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but got
around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is beyond
comprehension.

Could you guarantee he'd be in? He might have just slipped down to the
shops believing he'd get back in time to accept the delivery.

"Charles Hope" wrote in message
...
In article , Tough Guy no. 1265
wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin
wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where
your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where
it is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local
depot. Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries
are left before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the window
has started. DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but got
around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is beyond
comprehension.

Could you guarantee he'd be in? He might have just slipped down to the
shops believing he'd get back in time to accept the delivery.

Of course, but it doesn’t make any sense
to not allow him to sign for it if he is in
when it is successfully delivered early.

Tho I suppose that they likely do it that
way to discourage the drivers from showing
up outside the 1 hour window and hoping
that the customer will be there to receive it.

On 10/09/2015 22:44, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Not his fault really, for some reason new
parcel force blokes have to use pen and paper for a while before they
get promoted to using a handheld device.

Are not most parcel force delivery drivers self employed owner drivers?
Perhaps they have to pay for the handheld device and some may think it
is cheaper to do it by hand until they realise it's not too efficient.

--
mailto: news {at} admac {dot] myzen {dot} co {dot} uk

On 10/09/2015 23:04, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Nobody can sign
properly on those things anyway. My signature never looks anything like
the real thing.


I have my proper signature and an alternative, and repeatable, signature
for those hand held pads.



--
mailto: news {at} admac {dot] myzen {dot} co {dot} uk

On Sat, 12 Sep 2015 08:21:59 +0100, alan_m wrote:

On 10/09/2015 23:04, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Nobody can sign
properly on those things anyway. My signature never looks anything like
the real thing.


I have my proper signature and an alternative, and repeatable, signature
for those hand held pads.

You are MI5 victim AICM£5

--
Capitalism: Man exploiting man.
Socialism: The reverse.

On Sat, 12 Sep 2015 08:17:51 +0100, alan_m wrote:

On 10/09/2015 22:44, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Not his fault really, for some reason new
parcel force blokes have to use pen and paper for a while before they
get promoted to using a handheld device.

Are not most parcel force delivery drivers self employed owner drivers?
Perhaps they have to pay for the handheld device and some may think it
is cheaper to do it by hand until they realise it's not too efficient.

That is true of Yodel and Hermes, but not Parcel Force.

--
Capitalism: Man exploiting man.
Socialism: The reverse.

On Fri, 11 Sep 2015 20:53:42 +0100, Charles Hope wrote:

In article , Tough Guy no. 1265
wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:09:33 +0100, Bob Minchin
wrote:

Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:33:20 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:26:43 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where
your parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where
it is?

Yes. Although it depends on the service the sender has selected. It
tracks as with all the other carriers until it leaves the local
depot. Then you can see the van's location, and how many deliveries
are left before yours, and how long it will be.

Cool. I knew they were better than others (they give you a 1 hour
delivery window), but I didn't know they were that good.

But should the driver happen to arrive before the start of the 1 hour
window, the hand held device won't let you sign for it until the window
has started. DAMHIKT

I have had that problem before. The driver was most irritated but got
around it. I think he signed for it himself later on. Quite why DPD
thought a customer would not like the parcel delivered early is beyond
comprehension.

Could you guarantee he'd be in? He might have just slipped down to the
shops believing he'd get back in time to accept the delivery.

Idiot. I WAS in. If the driver happens to be there early, and the customer happens to be in, why not deliver it then?

--
Backup not found. A)bort, R)etry or P)anic?

On Fri, 11 Sep 2015 11:11:39 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Fri, 11 Sep 2015 10:17:55 +0100, NY wrote:

"Tough Guy no. 1265" wrote in message
news
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager
wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where it
is?

One of the courier companies (I don't think it's DPD, and it certainly
not Parcelforce or UPS) *does* allow you to do exactly this: you get an
email from Amazon (or whoever you've ordered from) with a URL that
allows you to see the location of the van and the number of deliveries
that he has to make before he gets to you. I was once watching and saw
that the spot on the map made a strange detour rather than taking the
direct route, even though I was next on the list without an intervening
delivery being shown. The driver was amazed when I said "was there yet
another accident at X junction" (a notorious accident black spot) and
said he'd forgotten that his van could be tracked.

It is DPD, but Interlink use the same system (they may be related
companies).

Yes they're the same or linked. Interlink is the consumer version perhaps.

--
An Englishman was feeling a little queezy on his first sailing, and leaned over the edge of the boat. He saw a Frenchman below opening his porthole so, feeling the urge to bring up his dinner, he yelled "LOOK OUT!"
The Frenchman stuck his head out of the porthole and was decorated with semi-digested food. "YOU SILLY ENGLISHMAN!!!!" he yelled, "Why do you say look out when you mean look in?"

On Fri, 11 Sep 2015 10:17:55 +0100, NY wrote:

"Tough Guy no. 1265" wrote in message
news
On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:21:37 +0100, Bob Eager wrote:

On Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:42:14 +0100, Tough Guy no. 1265 wrote:

Wouldn't it be cool if ParcelForce could tell you EXACTLY where your
parcel was? They have GPS in their vans don't they?

They're stuck back in the ark.

But DPD do exactly that.

You mean if I track a DPD parcel coming to my house, I can see where it
is?

One of the courier companies (I don't think it's DPD, and it certainly not
Parcelforce or UPS) *does* allow you to do exactly this: you get an email
from Amazon (or whoever you've ordered from) with a URL that allows you to
see the location of the van and the number of deliveries that he has to make
before he gets to you. I was once watching and saw that the spot on the map
made a strange detour rather than taking the direct route, even though I was
next on the list without an intervening delivery being shown. The driver was
amazed when I said "was there yet another accident at X junction" (a
notorious accident black spot) and said he'd forgotten that his van could be
tracked.

I thought you were about to say you'd caught him having a coffee break etc.

--
7 wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

On 11/09/2015 09:15, Fredxxx wrote:
On 11/09/2015 08:57, Rod Speed wrote:

[snip]

Even better to take a photo of the
individual who signs for it so that
if there is any dispute about who it
was delivered to and who signed
for if can be trivially proven that
the driver didn't just toss it over
the fence and sign for it himself.

I'm sure that will happen soon.

Well, that's more or less what happened yesterday when my daughter had a
dishwasher delivered from Appliances Online. The driver took a photo of
the freshly delivered appliance sitting in the middle of her kitchen.

--
Mike Clarke