Bloody amusing customers
 

About 3 years ago I fitted an auto dialler and alarm to a garage (ie a
working garage not somewhere to park cars). I got a phonecall today saying
the auto dialler was not working. The customer does not test the dialer on a
regular basis but today his mate set the alarm off and his phone did not
ring.

The first thing I noticed when I got up there (it's a ladder job) was a 9
inserted before the phone number the dialler was supposed to call. That's
not uncommon, and I programmed the dialler and it used to work. Anyway, we
had a dial tone at the master socket next to the auto dialler (I put the
master socket the-)) and all the voltages in the auto dialer were
correct. The bloody thing would still not make a call.

So out of curiousity I asked - do you need to dial a 9 when you make a phone
call. The reply was "no - not since I changed telephone companys a couple of
months ago".

I removed the 9 from the phone number and I tried again. Still nothing.

Then came the funniest thing I have heard for ages. The customer said "I've
just remembered something. When I swapped telephone companys I had the phone
line made into incoming only calls. You might as well "call me ******"[1]
and get down from the ladders".

[1] It's a saying that both I and the customer use and taken frrom here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYEMNab00bw

--
Adam

Bloody amusing customers
 

ARW wrote:

Then came the funniest thing I have heard for ages. The customer said "I've
just remembered something. When I swapped telephone companys I had the phone
line made into incoming only calls. You might as well "call me ******"[1]
and get down from the ladders".

Me and an IT bloke spent ages today trying to get a DTT modulator to
talk to the laptop. Eventually we discovered that the two ethernet-type
sockets had each other's labels (as referred to in the instructions)
next to them.

Bill

Bloody amusing customers
 

On Friday 16 August 2013 22:36 Huge wrote in uk.d-i-y:

On 2013-08-16, ARW wrote:

Then came the funniest thing I have heard for ages. The customer said
"I've just remembered something. When I swapped telephone companys I had
the phone line made into incoming only calls. You might as well "call me
******"[1] and get down from the ladders".

[1] It's a saying that both I and the customer use and taken frrom here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYEMNab00bw

I have a similar one, from a storeman on a plumbing counter somewhere,
that some idiot should "be chained to a melon".

No, I have no idea where it comes from.



A melon for ecstacy?


--
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Reading this on the web? See:
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Bloody amusing customers
 

"Bill Wright" wrote in message
...
ARW wrote:

Then came the funniest thing I have heard for ages. The customer said
"I've just remembered something. When I swapped telephone companys I had
the phone line made into incoming only calls. You might as well "call me
******"[1] and get down from the ladders".

Me and an IT bloke spent ages today trying to get a DTT modulator to talk
to the laptop. Eventually we discovered that the two ethernet-type sockets
had each other's labels (as referred to in the instructions) next to them.

Bill


Must have been the day for it. I spent ages trying to get some signal
through a slave amp from my signal generator distribution box. Turned out
that I'd used one jack cable to link the two sockets on the box, and the
other one to link the two input sockets on the amp. All four plugs emerged
from a tangle of cable in the middle of the bench, that I couldn't be arsed
to sort out :-|

Arfa

Bloody amusing customers
 

On 17/08/2013 09:18, Huge wrote:
On 2013-08-16, Tim Watts wrote:
On Friday 16 August 2013 22:36 Huge wrote in uk.d-i-y:

On 2013-08-16, ARW wrote:

Then came the funniest thing I have heard for ages. The customer said
"I've just remembered something. When I swapped telephone companys I had
the phone line made into incoming only calls. You might as well "call me
******"[1] and get down from the ladders".

[1] It's a saying that both I and the customer use and taken frrom here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYEMNab00bw

I have a similar one, from a storeman on a plumbing counter somewhere,
that some idiot should "be chained to a melon".

No, I have no idea where it comes from.



A melon for ecstacy?

Blimey, I haven't read that for a long time.


I well remember as a young man in the RAF my sergeant used to say
"Remember you can make something full proof, but you will never make it
c*nt proof". I have found that to be very true all through my life.

Bloody amusing customers
 

Bill Wright writes:

ARW wrote:

Then came the funniest thing I have heard for ages. The customer said "I've
just remembered something. When I swapped telephone companys I had the phone
line made into incoming only calls. You might as well "call me ******"[1]
and get down from the ladders".

Me and an IT bloke spent ages today trying to get a DTT modulator to
talk to the laptop. Eventually we discovered that the two ethernet-type
sockets had each other's labels (as referred to in the instructions)
next to them.

Bought a cheap KVM switch on Ebay, and all ports worked well except one
port which was connected to a miniature PC I knew to be a bit
temperamental about USB-to-PS2 adaptors and keyboard/mouse hardware and
software.

Slept on it, sometime during the night had one of those all too rare
'eureka' moments, got up next day and checked the colour coded
all-in-one monitor, mouse and keyboard triple cable on the failing
port.

Sure enough, the green plug on one end was connected to the purple plug
on the other end!



--
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J.R.R. Tolkien:- @ S c o t s h o m e . c o m
All that is gold does not glister / Not all who wander are lost